More and more measures to improve the security in large urban areas have been introduced in many countries because of the increased crime. Do the benefits of these measure outweigh the drawbacks?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently, in some countries, an increasing number of offenders is posing a threat to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Hence
Linking Words
, more and more
security
Use synonyms
cameras
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
Correct word choice
and surveilance
show examples
surveilance equipments
Correct your spelling
surveillance equipment
are prevail
Change the verb form
are prevailed
are prevailing
show examples
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
show examples
in large urban areas to protect innocent
people
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
arrangement, despite seemingly disadvantageous in certain aspects, actually possesses merits that, in my opinion, would overshadow the drawbacks. Regarding the drawbacks of using
security
Use synonyms
cameras
Use synonyms
to deter crime, some
people
Use synonyms
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that the police
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
invaded their own privacy
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and freedom. These days, the extensive of using special
Use synonyms
surveilance
Correct your spelling
surveillance
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
is hardly escapable, to the point that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
may find themselves surrounded by those every
walking
Correct your spelling
waking
show examples
moment. It does not matter where they are, they
still
Add a missing verb
are still
show examples
being watched for 24 hours. Whether they are on the street, in the supermarket, or on
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
way home, images of their faces and their movement will be recorded and sent to the
security
Use synonyms
organisations, ready to be analysed if necessary. Many
people
Use synonyms
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
their
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
show examples
, their privacy
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
not
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
respected, and
this
Linking Words
action would be a violation of privacy. In spite of the above arguments, I’m inclined to think the pros outweigh the cons. First and foremost, the most overwhelming advantage is that police can easily track the criminals once an individual
commit
Change the verb form
commits
show examples
an offence. Those devices can deter young offenders or potential criminals from breaking the laws, because they know that themselves being under the
Use synonyms
surveilance
Correct your spelling
surveillance
of cutting-edge devices.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it would greatly contribute to reducing terrorist attacks, thanks to the data and images from these
cameras
Use synonyms
, which are used to detect unusual activities of any individual in public places. The installation of more video
cameras
Use synonyms
in urban areas is
cost effective
Add a hyphen
cost-effective
show examples
, and unobtrusive,
while
Linking Words
the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not have to allocate too much money
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
the police forces. More importantly,
this
Linking Words
application will protect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society from any threat and provide a sense of safety and
security
Use synonyms
to the
people
Use synonyms
. In a nutshell, the use of
Use synonyms
surveilance
Correct your spelling
surveillance
cameras
Use synonyms
as crime
detterance
Correct your spelling
deterrence
utterance
is being increased in many big cities around the world. I hold the view that
this
Linking Words
application
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
more merits than drawbacks, albeit
objection
Correct article usage
the objection
show examples
of some
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by anhthu3826 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: