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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, young people have become richer, healthier, and live longer, but less happy . What are the causes? What can be done to address this situation?

#countries #people #address #situation
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it is believed that in some nations, the young generation has experienced increased wealth, improved health conditions and longer life expectancy.
However
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, there has been a decline in their
overall
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happiness
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.
This
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 essay aims to point out the cause of the problem and offer some solutions to address
this
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 issue. First of all, with the development of technology, youngsters have been under pressure in pursuing material things and faced peer pressure. They can dedicate their whole time to glueing their eyes to the screen of electronic devices
such
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 as laptops, iPad, etc, leading to social interaction and family bonds have been diminished.
For instance
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, my cousin is an only child and he has considered success and commplishmen his destination for him to come.
however
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, the relationship between him and his family has declined. We barely have no conversations or intimate gatherings which affect the level of
happiness
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 he has .
furthermore
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, the current generation has no room for entertainment. They just concentrate more on working, studying and prioritizing attainment. They put tremendous effort into their goal but forget the thing that spend time for themselves. To address
this
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 problem, there are some approaches that I recommend.
firstly
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, educational institutions and parents should emphasize the importance of social bonds and encourage young people to develop healthy relationships.
secondly
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, the government and local authorities should impose responsibility on social media that shape the partial definition of
happiness
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 in youngsters. In conclusion,
although
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 young people tend to have a better foundation of health and wealth, they
also
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 face to lack of
happiness
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 in their life. To improve
this
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 situation, schools and parents should take action to encourage and foster their social connection
as well as
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 government and local authority should take
this
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 situation into account.
Submitted by nttung.182 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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