IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. What are the reasons and solutions of this issue?

#students #school #money
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It is said
students
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 leave secondary
school
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 without learning the method
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
 to manage their financial aspect. There are many reasons why
children
Use synonyms
 leave high
school
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 without
learing
Correct your spelling
learning
 how to manage their
money
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 including,
school
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curriculum
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do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not have materials about financial
management
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,
Correct word choice
and
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a lack of
awareness
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 among
children
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 about
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value
Add an article
the value
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 of
money
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,
however
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 there
some
Add a missing verb
are some
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 measures to
addressing
Wrong verb form
address
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this
Linking Words
 issue including, introduce a new subject in
school
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 about
money
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management
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, raise the
awareness
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 among
children
Use synonyms
 about
Use synonyms
value
Add an article
the value
show examples
 of
money
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. On the one hand, the primary reason why
children
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 leave high
school
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 without learning the way how to manage their
money
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 is
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curriculum
Add an article
the curriculum
a curriculum
show examples
 of
school
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 only
concentrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
concentrates
show examples
in
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on
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 certain subjects. To illustrates,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most
of
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apply
show examples
school
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curriculum
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concentrate
Change the verb form
concentrates
show examples
 to educate their pupils about science, technology,
business
Correct word choice
and business
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, which means
school
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 do not pay attention to
teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
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students
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 about financial
management
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.A lack of
awareness
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 among
children
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 about
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value
Add an article
the value
show examples
 of
money
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 is another reason why
Students
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 leave
school
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 without learning about how to manage their
money
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.
For example
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
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 think the
money
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 should spend on
present
Correct article usage
the present
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 moment namely, entertainment ,food,
video
Correct word choice
and video
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 games rather than
save
Wrong verb form
saving
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 the
money
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 for future.
On the other hand
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, there are several solutions to tackle
this
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issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
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.
This
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 first effective measure, the
school
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 should introduce a new subject in their
curriculum
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 about financial
management
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 in order to
teache
Correct your spelling
teach
show examples
students
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 about the strategies
spend
Fix the infinitive
to spend
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 their
money
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 wise way. The second solution,
Add a missing verb
is The
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The
Correct your spelling
That
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 governments should launch educational campaigns in order to raise
awareness
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 among
children
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 about
Correct article usage
the values
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values
Fix the agreement mistake
value
show examples
 of
money
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.
For instance
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, Saudi Arabia
offer
Change the verb form
offers
show examples
 many financial
management
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 workshops in every
school
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 in all
reigon
Correct your spelling
regions
region
 of the country.
To sum up
Linking Words
, There are several reasons why
students
Use synonyms
 leave secondary
school
Use synonyms
 without
learing
Correct your spelling
learning
 the method how to manage their
money
Use synonyms
 namely , lack of materials
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 about financial
management
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,
Correct word choice
and
show examples
children
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 unaware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
value
Add an article
the value
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
 ,
however
Linking Words
, there
some
Add a missing verb
are some
show examples
 steps to deal with
this
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 problem including, introduce
a new materials
Correct the article-noun agreement
new materials
a new material
show examples
in
school
Use synonyms
 about financial
management
Use synonyms
, raise the
awareness
Use synonyms
 among
children
Use synonyms
 about
Use synonyms
value
Add an article
the value
show examples
 of financial aspect.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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