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Band 5

Students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. What are the reasons and solutions of this issue?

#students #school #money
It is said
students
 leave secondary
school
 without learning the method
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
 to manage their financial aspect. There are many reasons why
children
 leave high
school
 without
learing
Correct your spelling
learning
 how to manage their
money
 including,
school
curriculum
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not have materials about financial
management
,
Correct word choice
and
show examples
a lack of
awareness
 among
children
 about
value
Add an article
the value
show examples
 of
money
,
however
 there
some
Add a missing verb
are some
show examples
 measures to
addressing
Wrong verb form
address
show examples
this
 issue including, introduce a new subject in
school
 about
money
management
, raise the
awareness
 among
children
 about
value
Add an article
the value
show examples
 of
money
. On the one hand, the primary reason why
children
 leave high
school
 without learning the way how to manage their
money
 is
curriculum
Add an article
the curriculum
a curriculum
show examples
 of
school
 only
concentrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
concentrates
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 certain subjects. To illustrates,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
school
curriculum
concentrate
Change the verb form
concentrates
show examples
 to educate their pupils about science, technology,
business
Correct word choice
and business
show examples
, which means
school
 do not pay attention to
teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
show examples
students
 about financial
management
.A lack of
awareness
 among
children
 about
value
Add an article
the value
show examples
 of
money
 is another reason why
Students
 leave
school
 without learning about how to manage their
money
.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
 think the
money
 should spend on
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 moment namely, entertainment ,food,
video
Correct word choice
and video
show examples
 games rather than
save
Wrong verb form
saving
show examples
 the
money
 for future.
On the other hand
, there are several solutions to tackle
this
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
.
This
 first effective measure, the
school
 should introduce a new subject in their
curriculum
 about financial
management
 in order to
teache
Correct your spelling
teach
show examples
students
 about the strategies
spend
Fix the infinitive
to spend
show examples
 their
money
 wise way. The second solution,
Add a missing verb
is The
show examples
The
Correct your spelling
That
show examples
 governments should launch educational campaigns in order to raise
awareness
 among
children
 about
Correct article usage
the values
show examples
values
Fix the agreement mistake
value
show examples
 of
money
.
For instance
, Saudi Arabia
offer
Change the verb form
offers
show examples
 many financial
management
 workshops in every
school
 in all
reigon
Correct your spelling
regions
region
 of the country.
To sum up
, There are several reasons why
students
 leave secondary
school
 without
learing
Correct your spelling
learning
 the method how to manage their
money
 namely , lack of materials
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
school
 about financial
management
,
Correct word choice
and
show examples
children
 unaware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
value
Add an article
the value
show examples
 of
money
 ,
however
, there
some
Add a missing verb
are some
show examples
 steps to deal with
this
 problem including, introduce
a new materials
Correct the article-noun agreement
new materials
a new material
show examples
in
school
 about financial
management
, raise the
awareness
 among
children
 about
value
Add an article
the value
show examples
 of financial aspect.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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