Some pepole say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and becom disciplined. Others argue that teenagers should not sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work . Discusee both views and give your opinion.

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Few masses opine that students need to study and do jobs simultaneously to
improvise
Verb problem
improve
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their financial conditions, in fact, it could assist them
to develop
Change preposition
in developing
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various skills and
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
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punctual.
Whereas
, other group says it could impact their mental and physical well-being. From my, perspective the former criteria is a better way to teach young ones real-life experiences and in the upcoming, paragraphs I would like to shed light on both views.
To begin
with, people believe that working
while
studying is not appropriate for teenagers for the following reasons.
Initially
, they would face challenges to get enough rest
due to
hectic schedules since they need to pay extra attention to time management.
Besides
, because of , workload and fatigue, they might not be able to devote sufficient hours to their education,
moreover
, they might receive poor grades.
For instance
, in secondary schooling, there is the introduction of new courses and different patterns of examinations that require special concentration to understand.
On the other hand
, engagement in employment
along with
studies is useful for adults in a plethora of ways. To commence with, at an early age, they have an opportunity to learn many skills. Since they had a knowledge of the workplace environment and an understanding of regulations and guidelines to be followed, it would help them in getting a job after accomplishing their degrees.
For example
, hiring managers always give preference to youngsters, who
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
previous experience, rather than individuals, who have not worked anywhere.
Apart from
this
,
this
trend is
also
helpful for guardians as it reduces their financial stress as their wards could at least arrange their pocket money by working part-time. In conclusion, in the present era, parents allow their offspring to work it would let them understand their responsibilities and improve their abilities to address the world.
However
, some oppose it, as they believe it would exert extra pressure on them.
Submitted by lavisharma622 on

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Coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence and supports the main idea with relevant details. Aim for a more balanced and thorough exploration of both perspectives.
Task Achievement
Carefully analyze the prompt and ensure that both views are thoroughly discussed with specific examples and a balanced approach.
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