Some pepole say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and becom disciplined. Others argue that teenagers should not sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work . Discusee both views and give your opinion.

Few masses opine that students need to study and do jobs simultaneously to
improvise
Verb problem
improve
show examples
their financial conditions, in fact, it could assist them
to develop
Change preposition
in developing
show examples
various skills and
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
punctual.
Whereas
, other group says it could impact their mental and physical well-being. From my, perspective the former criteria is a better way to teach young ones real-life experiences and in the upcoming, paragraphs I would like to shed light on both views.
To begin
with, people believe that working
while
studying is not appropriate for teenagers for the following reasons.
Initially
, they would face challenges to get enough rest
due to
hectic schedules since they need to pay extra attention to time management.
Besides
, because of , workload and fatigue, they might not be able to devote sufficient hours to their education,
moreover
, they might receive poor grades.
For instance
, in secondary schooling, there is the introduction of new courses and different patterns of examinations that require special concentration to understand.
On the other hand
, engagement in employment
along with
studies is useful for adults in a plethora of ways. To commence with, at an early age, they have an opportunity to learn many skills. Since they had a knowledge of the workplace environment and an understanding of regulations and guidelines to be followed, it would help them in getting a job after accomplishing their degrees.
For example
, hiring managers always give preference to youngsters, who
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
previous experience, rather than individuals, who have not worked anywhere.
Apart from
this
,
this
trend is
also
helpful for guardians as it reduces their financial stress as their wards could at least arrange their pocket money by working part-time. In conclusion, in the present era, parents allow their offspring to work it would let them understand their responsibilities and improve their abilities to address the world.
However
, some oppose it, as they believe it would exert extra pressure on them.
Submitted by lavisharma622 on

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Coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence and supports the main idea with relevant details. Aim for a more balanced and thorough exploration of both perspectives.
Task Achievement
Carefully analyze the prompt and ensure that both views are thoroughly discussed with specific examples and a balanced approach.

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