IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people say its lot to tell about a person’s culture and character from their clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #person’s #culture #character #clothes
As the expanse of modernisation is overhauling each sphere of life, the dynamics
dressing
Change preposition
of dressing
show examples
 have altered too. A section of
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 vehemently
deem
Change the verb form
deems
show examples
 that the way a
person
 is
dressred
Correct your spelling
dressed
 represents the nature and
culture
 of that
person
.
Although
this
 statement is controversial, I have to concur that it is wrong to judge
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 individual from one's
clothes
, let us unfurl it in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
 in subsequent paragraphs. Tacitly, a plethora o factors are predominant that dressing is based on
preferances
Correct your spelling
preferences
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
 on
culture
 on character. First and foremost, when someone
move
Change the verb form
moves
show examples
 to a new nation it is natural to wear dresses which resemble
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
 community. To clarify, as it is hard to adjust somewhere overseas, everyone like to do
Add an article
a thing
the thing
show examples
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the new community and try to fit in and
clothes
 are part of it, because if
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
whill
Correct your spelling
will
 dress up as their own
culture
 one might feel different and isolated from the local people. To exemplify, Sir Sigmund Freud, an eminent psychologist in his study of human behavior and cognitive skills has
assereted
Correct your spelling
asserted
 that when a
person
wear
Change the verb form
wears
show examples
 something as per their taste, feels confident and supportive.
Moreover
, there can be a time when a
person
 might miss
juged
Correct your spelling
judged
judge
due to
 the way of
dressin
Correct your spelling
dressing
dressin'
. To elaborate,
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 a
person
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to wear
clothes
 directly opposite to their nature, tradition, and
culture
due to
 their working conditions or the situations, so it does not means that
clothes
 can represent
somene's
Correct your spelling
someone's
 personality and background. To illustrate, a survey conducted by the United States Census Bureau in 2002 in
california
Change the capitalization
California
show examples
 over a group of 2000 people ranging from 20-30 years
age
Change preposition
of age
show examples
 clearly revealed that 40% of
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 have to put on dresses which are inappropriate as per their
culture
 and status.
To conclude
, it can be said that
although
 one wears something as per their
culture
,
importance
Add an article
the importance
show examples
 of
situation
Add an article
the situation
show examples
 and surrounding can not be neglected.
Submitted by smanureet on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: