IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some governments believe it is necessary to impose a higher tax on junk food because an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much of this type of food. What do you think about this?

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These days, as the popularity of
junk
Use synonyms
food
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 has increased, many
people
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 are suffering from more serious illnesses than in the past.
Therefore
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, some governments are
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
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 to raise taxes to tackle
this
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 problem. In
this
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 essay, I will outline why I agree with the idea that taxes should be raised to maintain individuals'
health
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. The main reason why increasing the
tax
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 on
junk
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food
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 is important is to reduce the chance to create
health
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 issues.
Although
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junk
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food
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 has been popular for any generation because it is convenient and affordable price, it contributes
people
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 to eating much more unhealthy
food
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 which contains sugar, oil and salt.
According to
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 the studies, consumers who have lots of fast
food
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 tend to get more physical problems,
such
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 as diabetes, obesity and heart attack than
people
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 who have less.
Hence
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, if
government
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 impose a higher
tax
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 on unhealthy
food
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, it could be a solution to minimise the consumption of
junk
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food
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.
Additionally
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,
this
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 help to maintain the individuals'
health
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 in a good way. The other advantage is raising the
tax
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 on unhealthy meals is using the money for
people
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 who are struggling with
health
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 issues.
For instance
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, getting medical treatment for diabetes requires a large amount of money.
Therefore
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, if
government
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 impose more
tax
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 on
junk
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food
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 and
establish
Correct subject-verb agreement
establishes
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 a new support network or
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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 medications
with
Change preposition
apply
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using the
tax
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 money, it would definitely be a great outcome for the individuals. In conclusion,
although
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 why the
government
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 should increase
tax
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 on fast
food
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 was discussed, the popularity of
the
Correct your spelling
this
show examples
 kind of meal growing continuously. In my opinion,
people
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 should not rely everything on their
government
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 to solve
this
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 problem. They have to be aware that what they are facing and make
effort
Correct article usage
an effort
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,
such
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 as healthy eating habits or physical
excerises
Correct your spelling
exercises
exercise
 to keep their
health
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.

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