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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
In
this
 day and age, smartphones have become a vital part of modern life, and a growing
number
 of young people are sacrificing daily hours for
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 ones to serve
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their entertainment and studying demands. From my perspective,
this
 trend has some potential detrimental impacts on
children
. There are immense reasons for the phenomenon.
Firstly
, a large
number
 of functions and applications are integrated into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cell phones. Young individuals with curiosity by nature,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are easily attracted by simulation games, renewable functions and some similar ones.
In addition
, the growing dominance of social networks is one of the reasons leading to a long concentration span of
children
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobiles. To illustrate, a wide range of entertaining and studying resources make
children
 willing to spend a long time discovering and updating the latest information and knowledge.
For example
, Facebook is one of the most popular social media platforms in Vietnam, where everyone can access any given subject or even keep contact with their friends in a far-off distance. There are some adverse effects which are accompanied by the phenomenon. First of all, a numerous
number
 of young generations lack interpersonal skills, especially communication skills.
This
 is because they spend too much time in the virtual world and just talk with others via texting
instead
 of verbal communication.
For instance
, if a youngster gets accustomed to communicating by texting, he will struggle to talk with his friends in real-world conversation.
Secondly
,
children
’s physical health can be threatened because of a lack of outdoor activities. The young
immerse
Add a missing verb
are immerse
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 in virtual video games inside
the
Change the word
their
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 cell phones, they sacrifice invitations
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 physical activities with their friends, parents and other people. Gradually, a sedentary lifestyle is established, which may result in obesity
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the young generation. In conclusion, it seems to me that
children
 have a vast
number
 of reasons to use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smartphone,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 I firmly hold the view that excessive reliance can lead to some negative effects.
Submitted by tranngochientrinh on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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