Some believe that violent computer games are just a form of entertainment, while others think they lead directly to violent behavior. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #computer #games #form #entertainment #behavior

Some argue that playing war and gun

games

on PC is only a type of fun,

although

others consider that it can influence people and cause violent attitudes.

While

such

games

may create violent behaviour because of their environment, I believe that these

games

are played to spend time interestingly and are just a form of entertainment. On the one hand, violent video

games

are thought to be the main reason for the creation of violent attitudes.

In other words

, human beings who play them may be influenced by game characters and may try to imitate them in life, which in turn results in a violent attitude.

For example

, in Turkey, the young generation who watch violent films try to emulate the behaviours of characters with their friends. These

games

are likely to influence human beings;

however

, I think that it is most likely depend on individuals' attitudes.

On the other hand

, these digital

games

are considered a source of entertainment by some, and they play those

games

to make their free time exciting.

This

is to say that these human beings play these online gun or combat

games

with their friends to spend time together.

For instance

, many youngsters and matures connect with their friends to play Pubg, and they try to improve their ranks in order to make their times

funny

Correct word choice

fun

show examples

Therefore

, I believe that these

games

are just a kind of entertainment, and provide an opportunity for the community to have fun when they are bored. In conclusion, despite these violent

games

affecting and contributing to violent attitude

Change preposition

show examples

people, I think that it is just for fun, and help people make their entertaining times.

Submitted by murad.tariverdiyev2005 on Tue Jul 18 2023

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task response

Ensure that all parts of the essay directly address the task prompt. Provide a more balanced discussion of both views in the essay to fully address the task prompt.

coherence and cohesion

Work on organizing ideas in a more coherent manner. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas for better coherence and cohesion.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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