IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays,a growing number of people with healt problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #healt #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Today, many
people
Use synonyms
 with bad health conditions prefer conservative medicines and treatments compared to going to medical
doctors
Use synonyms
 to inspect. From my perspective,
this
Linking Words
 situation could create serious issues
Use synonyms
people's
Change preposition
in people's
show examples
 health, for
uneducated
Add an article
the uneducated
an uneducated
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 who use
alternative
Use synonyms
medicine
Use synonyms
 to treat
Use synonyms
people
Add the comma(s)
,people
show examples
 can harm themselves and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 because of their
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lack of knowledge of medical subjects.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
improvment
Correct your spelling
improvement
 of
alternative
Use synonyms
medicine
Use synonyms
 has huge negative effects on patient's lives.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, development in
medicine
Use synonyms
 has gradually caught on all over the world and many scientists
sacrifise
Correct your spelling
sacrifice
sacrificed
 their lives to find treatments for some disease which has high-level mortality
such
Linking Words
 as cancer. These professionals have to call for many skills to graduate from medical school.
However
Linking Words
, look at the other
sides
Fix the agreement mistake
side
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 who use
alternative
Use synonyms
medicine
Use synonyms
 (including herbal
medicine
Use synonyms
, and
acupunture
Correct your spelling
acupuncture
) do not have even a certificate.
Hence
Linking Words
, patients who believe fake
doctors
Use synonyms
 endanger their lives.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is no evidence about the treatment of
alternative
Use synonyms
medicine
Use synonyms
.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, when making a treatment with herbals, mixing some plants could be toxic
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 body. If
people
Use synonyms
 take
this
Linking Words
medicine
Use synonyms
, their bodies might be damaged
irreversibily
Correct your spelling
irreversibly
irreversible
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 medical condition may be unfixed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
doctors
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 a lack of scientific research.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the main disadvantage of
alternative
Use synonyms
 therapies is that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 could be a powerful gun with no real
doctors
Use synonyms
.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, governments do not try to curb these kinds of
people
Use synonyms
 in order to protect their citizens. I hope governments will take action in the activities of reducing used
alternative
Use synonyms
medicine
Use synonyms
 treatment in the future.
Submitted by gficnm on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: