IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this .

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Start now →
Introduction
Other nations recommend young
students
Use synonyms
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
experience travelling and working in a span of one
year
Use synonyms
 after completing high school or before entering university. With
this
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 are able to relax or earn money before starting a new chapter,
however
Linking Words
, it delays some
students
Use synonyms
 who have academic plans.
Body · 1
Schooling is surely stressful at times, making people experience various emotions
such
Linking Words
 as exhaustion, burnout and even depression.
That is
Linking Words
 why travelling is a way to release stress from overwhelming academic issues.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it gives schoolers enough
time
Use synonyms
 to relax, try out fun activities and forget about the negative thoughts relating to school.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if they opt to work, it is a significant step if their goal is to save up funds for the coming school
year
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, encouraging a working student to take a job for a
year
Use synonyms
 will aid them in earning additional income to support themselves.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 approach supports young
students
Use synonyms
 who are suffering
mental
Change preposition
from mental
show examples
 and physical issues
as well as
Linking Words
 financial problems.
Body · 2
On the contrary
Linking Words
, there are negative results to
this
Linking Words
,
firstly
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of finishing college on
time
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 causes delays , especially
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 those
students
Use synonyms
 with planned goals.
For instance
Linking Words
, a nursing student who is looking forward to attaining a bachelor's degree, taking the national examination on
time
Use synonyms
, becoming professional and earning a higher salary will take a long
time
Use synonyms
 to achieve these goals.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there is no assurance of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 with enough money , especially at their age.
Lastly
Linking Words
, looking for jobs can be difficult because of the qualifications set by companies which usually require a finished degree.
Conclusion
In conclusion, it is an advantage to allocate
time
Use synonyms
 to travel or work , especially
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 those
students
Use synonyms
 experiencing financial and mental instability.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 prolongs the
time
Use synonyms
 for those who aim to achieve a degree and not everyone can attain jobs within a
year
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that all points discussed in the essay are fully developed with more detailed examples and explanations. This will help in clearly conveying the main arguments to the reader.
task achievement
Make sure that the essay addresses all aspects of the task prompt effectively. While the main points are covered, consider discussing further potential disadvantages to provide a more balanced discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Although the essay follows a clear structure, work on improving the transition between ideas to simplify progression from one point to another.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates a solid structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, enhancing reading comprehension.
task achievement
Main points are well-supported with relevant examples, which helps to strengthen the arguments.
task achievement
There is a comprehensive discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages, which aligns well with the task prompt.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
What to do next:
Look at other essays: