IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Others think it has an opposite effect. Discuss both view and give your opinions.

#range #technology #people #gap #effect
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One of many controversial debates
in
Change preposition
on
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 the crucial impact of high-tech machines is related to their availability.
According to
 society, the
accessible
Replace the word
accessibility
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 of computer engineering is widely expected to cause greater disparities between the
wealth
Replace the word
wealthy
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 and the poor,
while
 others believe it has
potential
Correct article usage
the potential
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 to reduce inequality. In
this
 essay, I will analyse both perspectives which contribute to my viewpoint. Granted, it can be argued that
such
 development of technology accessibility is augment the interruption between
high
Add a hyphen
high-status
show examples
status
 and
low
Add a hyphen
low-status
show examples
status
 individuals since the cost of having and utilizing advanced programs can be prohibitively unaffordable for many people, particularly those from low-income backgrounds.
As a result
, those who can pay to invest in the latest technological innovations gain a significant benefit over those who cannot. Another drawback of
this
 enhancement is that the superior countries tend to have greater GDP, which means that they are more
conveniently
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convenient
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 to access, an upgrade of numerous modern devices,
while
 those in underprivileged nations are left behind,
therefore
subsequently
exacerbate
Wrong verb form
exacerbating
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 inequality between countries.
However
,
this
 line of reasoning is not sound since there are multiple comprehensive approaches
from
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to
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such
critically
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critical
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 progress
such
 as improving
accessibility
Correct article usage
the accessibility
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 of education.
For instance
, online platform classes, by providing people with access to high-quality educational resources regardless of their location or socioeconomic
status
.
Therefore
,
this
 method can help level the playing
fields
Fix the agreement mistake
field
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 and furnish individuals with
knowledge
Correct article usage
the knowledge
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 and skills they need to succeed in the modern
economic
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economy
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.
Furthermore
, the considerable breakthrough of
such
 progress is that can enhance
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
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to
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of
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 healthcare by enabling
such
 as remote consultations, telemedicine, and other form-related
of
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apply
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digital health.
This
 almighty technique can be particularly beneficial for people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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in rural or remote areas who may not
possibility
Replace the word
possibly
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access
Add a missing verb
have access
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 to healthcare infrastructures. In conclusion,
although
 the impact of modern devices accessibility on social
status
 inequality is nuanced and depends on various factors, I believe there are more advantages that mankind can be gained from
such
this
 advancement
such
 as online classes and digital healthcare techniques.
Submitted by khoiminhnguyen1411 on

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