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Band 6

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.
The table provides information about underground railway systems in six different cities.
Overall
Linking Words
, the table shows the
year
Use synonyms
 each railway opened, its length in kilometres, and the number of
passengers
Use synonyms
 who use it each
year
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. It's clear that the three oldest railways are
also
Linking Words
 the longest and carry the most
passengers
Use synonyms
. London has the oldest underground, which started in 1863. It
also
Linking Words
 has the longest
route
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, with 394 kilometres.
However
Linking Words
, it carries the third highest number of
passengers
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, at 775
million
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 per
year
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, behind Paris and Tokyo. Paris, which opened in 1900, transports around 1,191,000,000 people annually over 199
km
Use synonyms
 of track. Tokyo, despite opening in 1927, carries the most
passengers
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, at 1,927
million
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, even though its
route
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 is only 155
km
Use synonyms
 long. As for the other underground systems, Washington
DC
Punctuation problem
, DC
show examples
 is the oldest, opening in 1976,
while
Linking Words
 Kyoto and Los Angeles opened in 1981 and
2001
Punctuation problem
2001,
show examples
 respectively. Washington
DC
Punctuation problem
, DC
show examples
 has a
route
Use synonyms
 of 126
km
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 and transports 144
million
Use synonyms
passengers
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 each
year
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. Kyoto has the shortest
route
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, only 11
km
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, and the fewest
passengers
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, at 45
million
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, Los Angeles has a
route
Use synonyms
 of 28
km
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 and 50
million
Use synonyms
passengers
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year, passengers, route, million, km with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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