In many countries, school-age children are spending their free time in doing homework. Is it a good or bad thing? What is your opinion? Give examples to support your view.
Nowadays, a lot of pupils in their teenage invest their free
time
doing assignments from school
or private academies. In modern society, it seems that only a few children are really allowed to spend their own time
doing what they want. I believe that filling all their free time
with homework has a bad impact on teenagers.
At some point, It is true that having some work such
as practice or review after school
can be beneficial to students for some educational reasons. A number of children commented that they experienced bad impacts from the massive amount of assignments. What they usually mention about the negative influence is that they do not get enough time
to hang out with friends or play some sports they wish to. From my personal experience, I am sure the most important things that we can achieve during school
age are making memories and learning social skills. These are not what we can learn from spending all our time
in books but from playing outside and being together with
friends.
Furthermore
, letting teenagers plan their free time
themselves is also
significant. For instance
, most pupils in South Korea do not get the opportunity even to think about extra hours for doing extracurricular activities because their whole teenage term is already scheduled to be spent in school
, private academy
and Fix the agreement mistake
academies
homework
at home. As they grow up to the age of graduation, they will realize that they do not have many memories of their teenage and lack Add a missing verb
doing homework
time
management skills by themselves.
In conclusion, a certain level of control of teenagers' free time
with assignments can bring positive effects for them. However
, every individual in their teenage needs to be ensured to utilize their free time
for self-development. For these reasons, spending free time
doing homework is negative.Submitted by pjh011205 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear logical progression in your arguments. While your essay shows a degree of organization, it can be improved by tightening the logical links between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and conclusion to frame your essay, which you have done, but make sure the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points without introducing new arguments.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. Your essay mentions general consequences but lacks concrete examples to give weight to your arguments.
task achievement
Address the task fully with a complete response to the prompt. Consider discussing both sides of the argument to show a more balanced view, as the task requires discussion on whether spending free time doing homework is good or bad.
task achievement
Present clear, comprehensive ideas that are relevant to the task. Your main ideas are generally clear, but they could be fleshed out further for comprehensive insight.
task achievement
Include specific and relevant examples to support your opinion, which strengthens the overall argument and demonstrates a broader understanding of the issue.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite