IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject.To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

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It is often thought that universities should make equal registration for girls and boys in each subject.
This
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 essay will discuss
this
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 view, and I completely disagree with
this
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 opinion. At the outset, universities play a great role in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 all over the world because they receive new
students
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 every year to complete their
high
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higher
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 education.
But
Correct word choice
However
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 the acceptance rules for
students
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 for any speciality must be based on certain criteria that are set up by specific professors.
In addition
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 to that,
gender
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 kind should not be
one
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 of these criteria, as; equality concept must be achieved regardless the sex
type
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.
For example
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, when a male and a female want to study civil engineering, the college should choose only
one
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,
therefore
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; the selection should depend on the score and is not related to the sex.
Moreover
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, if any college uses selection properties away from the
gender
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type
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,
this
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 will create competition among males and females in each field.
Consequently
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, huge progress will be accomplished because each student will do his best efforts to go to the college that he likes, and there he can innovate or discover something, which could be beneficial to humanity.
In contrast
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, if institutes select an equal number of males and females and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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consider
gender
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 as the most important factor and neglect other factors, a lot of smart
students
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 will be deprived of studying what they like. In conclusion, a group of requirements must be outlined by each university to select
students
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 who will study In,and the sex
type
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 should not be
one
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 of them because if the
gender
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type
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 is
one
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 of them, many negative consequences will occur.

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak. Ideas are not organized effectively, and the introduction and conclusion lack clarity.
task achievement
The response addresses the task, but the ideas lack clarity and coherence. More specificity and precision are needed to deliver a clear and well-structured argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender diversity
  • fostering innovation
  • educational experience
  • enforcing gender quotas
  • merit and potential
  • individual achievements
  • natural differences
  • gender equality
  • reducing gender stereotypes
  • balanced workforce
  • traditionally male-dominated or female-dominated fields
  • fluctuating applicant numbers
  • compromise on quality
  • diversity aspects
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