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Band 5

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject.To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#universities #numbers #students
It is often thought that universities should make equal registration for girls and boys in each subject.
This
 essay will discuss
this
 view, and I completely disagree with
this
 opinion. At the outset, universities play a great role in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 all over the world because they receive new
students
 every year to complete their
high
Correct word choice
higher
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 education.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
 the acceptance rules for
students
 for any speciality must be based on certain criteria that are set up by specific professors.
In addition
 to that,
gender
 kind should not be
one
 of these criteria, as; equality concept must be achieved regardless the sex
type
.
For example
, when a male and a female want to study civil engineering, the college should choose only
one
,
therefore
; the selection should depend on the score and is not related to the sex.
Moreover
, if any college uses selection properties away from the
gender
type
,
this
 will create competition among males and females in each field.
Consequently
, huge progress will be accomplished because each student will do his best efforts to go to the college that he likes, and there he can innovate or discover something, which could be beneficial to humanity.
In contrast
, if institutes select an equal number of males and females and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
consider
gender
 as the most important factor and neglect other factors, a lot of smart
students
 will be deprived of studying what they like. In conclusion, a group of requirements must be outlined by each university to select
students
 who will study In,and the sex
type
 should not be
one
 of them because if the
gender
type
 is
one
 of them, many negative consequences will occur.
Submitted by sm710129 on

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak. Ideas are not organized effectively, and the introduction and conclusion lack clarity.
task achievement
The response addresses the task, but the ideas lack clarity and coherence. More specificity and precision are needed to deliver a clear and well-structured argument.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender diversity
  • fostering innovation
  • educational experience
  • enforcing gender quotas
  • merit and potential
  • individual achievements
  • natural differences
  • gender equality
  • reducing gender stereotypes
  • balanced workforce
  • traditionally male-dominated or female-dominated fields
  • fluctuating applicant numbers
  • compromise on quality
  • diversity aspects
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