IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think watching television is bad for children in every way. Others think it is good for children to get knowledge. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #television #children
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Whether exposure to TV is detrimental to the young generation in all respects has been a constant discussion in our society. In general, I think it may bring some benefits for them to acquire knowledge and widen their horizons if the screen time is well-controlled. It is true that some adults tend to believe that screen time is absolutely harmful to underage viewers. They are worried that a proportion of programs, especially those with inappropriate content
such
Linking Words
 as violent images can spoil their mindset. Because their brains, habits, and values are developing at a critical time, misbehaviour and distorted viewpoints on screens may easily lead to misguided development.
However
Linking Words
, television can be informative and educational when adults have control over what programs they are allowed to access. Today, there are many well-produced age-appropriate shows that aim to help the young generation who are curious about new experiences to perceive the world around them.
Besides
Linking Words
, compared to other sources of information, with vivid pictures and sound effects, TV can be a more appealing way for the underage to obtain knowledge since they have shorter attention spans than adults. What is more, when it comes to educational shows targeted at children
such
Linking Words
 as Sesame Street, watching them with parents can make the learning process more conducive to them.
Instead
Linking Words
 of being the recipient of information sitting in front of a screen, they are more likely to understand the contents better in the back-and-forth interaction with parents.
To conclude
Linking Words
, under the guidance and company of parents, watching television is an advantageous method for children to access knowledge.
Submitted by 76805977 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational programs
  • entertainment
  • excessive
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • influence
  • learning opportunities
  • cognitive development
  • language acquisition
  • information overload
  • inappropriate content
  • parental control
  • media literacy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: