Excessive sugar consumption causes many diseases. Some people think that it is the government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption while others think that it is the individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
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Excessive amount of
sugar
consumption
causes various diseases. Some people
believe that it is the responsibility
of the government
to limit
sugar
consumption
by the public while
others believe that it is the responsibility
of individuals
to limit
their sugar
consumption
. I personally believe that while
minimizing sugar
consumption
by individuals
is beneficial for their well-being, the government
can take effective measures to control sugar
consumption
.
Minimizing sugar
consumption
by individuals
is good for their well-being. If people
limit
their consumption
of sugar
by their personal choices, their health will be improved, and they will not suffer from diseases caused by excessive sugar
consumption
. For example
, people
in Australia are health conscious of their choices, and they limit
their sugar
consumption
after their 30s. This
practice helps them to stay away from diabetes and other diseases. However
, I believe that limiting sugar
consumption
individually is not an effective solution.
The government
can take effective measures to control sugar
consumption
in a country. The government
can decide how much sugar
-contained food will be available in the market, and how much costs have to pay for them. If the government
controls that, people
cannot buy sugar
-containing food. For instance
, the government
of Bangladesh has decided how much sugar
-contained food will be manufactured in a year and how much costs
Correct article usage
the costs
those
will be. It helps to minimize Correct pronoun usage
apply
sugar
consumption
of the general public. Therefore
, I personally believe that only the government
should take responsibility
for minimizing sugar
consumption
.
In conclusion, I believe that it is the responsibility
of the government
to minimize sugar
consumption
of the public. Individuals
can make personal decisions not to consume excessive sugar
, but that will not be very effective.Submitted by rahman_rehana on
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specific examples
Develop additional specific examples to enhance your arguments, particularly for the section about individual responsibility for sugar consumption.
cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs, which can further improve the flow and coherence of your essay.
introduction conclusion
Clear introduction and conclusion paragraphs that provide a strong structure to the essay.
logical structure
Each viewpoint is well-discussed with logical reasoning.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite