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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is i some children spent hourt the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

#children #hours #smartphones #hourt #case #development
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The problem of wasting time in front of gadgets is under discussion and meaningful. There are several reasons that can cause
such
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 behaviour in juveniles or adults, and
this
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 essay will discuss why it
occurring
Wrong verb form
occurs
show examples
 and provide a personal opinion about the benefits and drawbacks of
such
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 a phenomenon. First of all, one of the most appealing features of using
smartphones
Use synonyms
 is providing plenty of free ways of entertainment and having fun. Modern streaming platforms and games stores open the gates into the world of series, movies, video games and so on. All
this
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 content motivates children to return to
this
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 digital space more and more. At the same time, health problems caused by overusing gadgets are not highlighted enough and
thus
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 their popularity has increased making
smartphones
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 desired.
For example
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, famous social media called "TikTok" does not hide the fact that its algorithms were built to catch the attention of users as long as possible. In my opinion, the increase of people who are addicted to digital technology is an obviously negative aspect of social life. I think so because users forget about reality and lose connection with the world around them when using devices. The vision problems provoked by excessive sitting in front of phones can cause a set of problems
such
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 as reduced productivity or constant fatigue.
For instance
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, my ability to see was considerably decreased after the permanent use of
smartphones
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 at night with low light.
To conclude
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, addiction to
smartphones
Use synonyms
 happens
due to
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 the presence of free entertainment within it and because of the low level of problem publicity. My personal opinion is that
this
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 phenomenon is a negative aspect because it hurts our health and reduces our ability to work effectively.
Submitted by tsaryk2004 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly introduces the topic and the conclusion summarizes the main points. Organize the essay in a logical sequence of ideas to improve coherence and cohesion.
task response
Address the prompt more directly, providing a more detailed response to all aspects of the question. Develop your ideas and provide specific examples to support your points more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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