In some cultures, Children are encouraged to compete against each other. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this approach?

Every
child
is unique and different in their own way.
However
, in various cultures, they are motivated to compete with their friends. Is
this
competition advantageous or disadvantageous? In my opinion, there are more downsides if
children
are constantly competing with one another. There are several reasons why parents in different parts of the world, encourage competitiveness amongst
children
. One of them is motivation where they watch their friends grow and put in more effort to develop themselves.
For instance
, if a student scores 80% marks, his parents compare him to a top scorer to inspire him to focus more on his studies.
In addition
to
this
, another reason why some traditions believe in competition is to build a competitive spirit and sportsmanship in their offspring that can aid them in their future endeavours.
Although
these reasons are valid, I strongly believe that there are more disadvantageous a
child
goes through when they are continuously competing with fellow students.
Firstly
, it creates a lot of mental pressure around the
child
to be the best amongst the lot.
This
pressure will have a long-term impact on their minds,
consequently
, leading to mental health conditions
such
as anxiety, stress or depression. The teenagers,
moreover
, may not be interested in comparing themselves because they may have different interests. If an emerging
child
singer,
for example
, cannot be compared to someone pursuing art.
Thus
, parents must inspire their young ones to pursue what they like rather than just comparing them to and competing with their other friends.
To conclude
,
children
are incomparable. There are certain benefits when different communities promote competition among
children
,
however
, I strongly think the downside of
this
practice has more negative outcomes.
Submitted by agarwal.bhavi07 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Your main points are present, but they would be strengthened by clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph, followed by more detailed support and development throughout. Aim to expand and elaborate on your points with concrete details, examples, and explanations.
task achievement
You have responded to the task, but your response should be more complete by covering both advantages and disadvantages in equal measure. It is important to address all parts of the prompt to achieve a higher task response score.
task achievement
Clarify and elaborate on your ideas to make them more comprehensive. Each point should be fully developed and explored, leaving the reader with a clear understanding of your argument or perspective.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to support your points. Real-world instances, hypothetical examples, or citing reliable sources can make your essay more convincing and impactful.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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