In some cultures, Children are encouraged to compete against each other. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this approach?

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Every

child

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is unique and different in their own way.

However

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, in various cultures, they are motivated to compete with their friends. Is

this

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competition advantageous or disadvantageous? In my opinion, there are more downsides if

children

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are constantly competing with one another. There are several reasons why parents in different parts of the world, encourage competitiveness amongst

children

Use synonyms

. One of them is motivation where they watch their friends grow and put in more effort to develop themselves.

For instance

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, if a student scores 80% marks, his parents compare him to a top scorer to inspire him to focus more on his studies.

In addition

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this

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, another reason why some traditions believe in competition is to build a competitive spirit and sportsmanship in their offspring that can aid them in their future endeavours.

Although

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these reasons are valid, I strongly believe that there are more disadvantageous a

child

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goes through when they are continuously competing with fellow students.

Firstly

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, it creates a lot of mental pressure around the

child

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to be the best amongst the lot.

This

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pressure will have a long-term impact on their minds,

consequently

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, leading to mental health conditions

such

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as anxiety, stress or depression. The teenagers,

moreover

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, may not be interested in comparing themselves because they may have different interests. If an emerging

child

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singer,

for example

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, cannot be compared to someone pursuing art.

Thus

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, parents must inspire their young ones to pursue what they like rather than just comparing them to and competing with their other friends.

To conclude

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children

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are incomparable. There are certain benefits when different communities promote competition among

children

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however

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, I strongly think the downside of

this

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practice has more negative outcomes.

agarwal.bhavi07Fri Dec 15 2023

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coherence cohesion

To improve the logical structure of your essay, ensure that ideas flow naturally from one to the next. Use a variety of transition words and phrases to guide the reader smoothly through your points, avoiding abrupt shifts in topic or argument.

coherence cohesion

While your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, they could be more clearly defined. An introduction should broadly state the topic and your primary argument, while the conclusion should sum up your points and restate your main argument in the context of the information provided within the body paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are present, but they would be strengthened by clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph, followed by more detailed support and development throughout. Aim to expand and elaborate on your points with concrete details, examples, and explanations.

task achievement

You have responded to the task, but your response should be more complete by covering both advantages and disadvantages in equal measure. It is important to address all parts of the prompt to achieve a higher task response score.

task achievement

Clarify and elaborate on your ideas to make them more comprehensive. Each point should be fully developed and explored, leaving the reader with a clear understanding of your argument or perspective.

task achievement

Include relevant and specific examples to support your points. Real-world instances, hypothetical examples, or citing reliable sources can make your essay more convincing and impactful.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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In some cultures, Children are encouraged to compete against each other. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this approach?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

You recently stayed at a hotel for a conference with your company and there were several problems with your room. Write to the hotel management to complain. Include Where you stayed What the problems were How they can fix your complaints

Some people think that success is the best measure for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?

Describe a rule that is important in your school or at work. You should say: What the rule is about what happens when people break the rule. why you think it is an important rule and explain how you feel about the rule?

Some people think it is a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it is important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.