IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development
It is believed that the different medications and curative treatments are being tried by increasing
bunch
Correct article usage
a bunch
show examples
 of
people
instead
 of seeing a
doctor
.In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 it has some positive
as well as
 negative impacts of new
ways
 of
treatment
 which
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would discuss
further
 in
this
 essay.
Firstly
,
people
 are trying traditional
ways
 of
treatment
 and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think it is a positive approach.
For instance
,
people
 are connecting to nature
such
 as
open air
Add a hyphen
open-air
show examples
 yoga,different kind of herbs and healthy food.Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it was recently reported that modern drugs and medicines may cure a disease but cause but have other
sideffects
Correct your spelling
side-effects
whereas
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
herbal medications do not have any kind of
sideffects
Correct your spelling
side effects
.
Similarly
,yoga reduces stress level,increases focus ,improve
respiratory
Add an article
the respiratory
show examples
 system and boost
Correct article usage
the imune
show examples
imune
Correct your spelling
immune
 system.Indeed,
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 should try different
ways
 of
treatment
 but
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the guidance of experts.
On the other hand
,
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
ways
 of
treatment
 are
also
 very much effective.
For example
,in case of any emergency situation
doctors
Change noun form
doctors'
doctor's
show examples
 treatments
such
 as operations,vaccinations and medications are far better
Change preposition
than then
show examples
then
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
traditional
Add an article
the traditional
show examples
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 of
treatment
 because
Correct article usage
the trational
show examples
trational
Correct your spelling
traditional
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 of
treatment
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 too slow as
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to modern
ways
as well as
 doctors are qualified
surgens
Correct your spelling
surgeons
surges
 and
then
 know how to handle any situation.So,when
time
Add an article
the time
a time
show examples
 limit is short
doctor
Change noun form
doctor's
show examples
way
 of
treatment
 is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best choice rather than all of the other methods.
However
,
people
 should not quit visiting
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
completly
Correct your spelling
completely
. To recapitulate,in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 both
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
 of
treatments
Fix the agreement mistake
treatment
show examples
 have some positive and negative effects.As
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
doctors
Change noun form
doctors'
doctor's
show examples
 methods are quick but have
sideffects
Correct your spelling
side effects
 but traditional
ways
 are slow but do not have
sideffects
Correct your spelling
side effects
.
Submitted by muhammadwaleed8687 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: