Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time?

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The problem of whether or not most teenagers should take a gap
year
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in case to gain professional experience or travel just before applying to a
university
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has sparked a heated debate.
While
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some individuals argue that taking a
year
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off is a big waste of
time
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for students, I contend that it is better to explore the world and spend
time
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on personal growth, as it would exert a positive influence on applicants. There are several reasons why opponents of taking a gap
year
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before starting college study maintain that it is the worst idea to do so, with the most salient being that applicants can feel fear of missing out
due to
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their age difference from other learners.
For example
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,
according to
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Yale
University
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research, about 35% of their pupils can not properly join the community ,and feel neglected as they are much older than their classmates. Another cogent reason is that most parents worry about the academic performance of their children, which might precipitate not only their grades
,
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apply
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but
also
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their well-being,
such
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as feeling unwell
due to
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stress. I firmly believe that having a break for some
time
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after graduation is relatively positive, primarily
due to
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its implications for personal improvement and growth, as teenagers are just entering adult life and it is important to gain life experience.
Furthermore
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, having a
year
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between graduation and
university
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application gives an opportunity to stabilize mental and physical health, which substantiates
this
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stance.
For example
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, a study conducted by the Worldwide Healthcare Organization proved that every fifth student in top Canadian universities does not face academic stress, as they had a gap
year
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before starting studying.
This
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is particularly desirable as it would culminate in adult life
,
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apply
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because students who took a
year
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off have not only needed experience
,
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apply
show examples
but good well-being. In summary,
while
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opponents contend that a hiatus before an academic comeback is not worth it
due to
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its negative influence on academic performance and place in the
university
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community, I unequivocally assert that taking
time
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to improve self-characteristics is a more pragmatic and beneficial approach.

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task achievement
Consider ensuring each point made directly addresses the question. Some sentences can be sharpened to present a more cohesive argument.
coherence and cohesion
While you have a clear structure, transitions could be improved for better flow between ideas. Adding linking words will enhance coherence.
task achievement
Your arguments for the benefits of taking a gap year are well presented, showing a clear point of view.
coherence and cohesion
The essay contains a logical structure with distinct paragraphs for different ideas, which aids in clarity.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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