IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows the export values of various products in 2009 and 2010.

The table illustrates the different values of merchandise (categorised into equipment, telecommunity, clothing, manufacturing and metals) exported in two years 2009 and 2010. Units are measured in
billion
Use synonyms
HK
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 and per cent.
Overall
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, most of the goods for export witnessed an increase in
value
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 during one
year
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 period, except for clothing and manufacturing.
Along with
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this
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, there was a change in the highest product’s
value
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 from equipment to telecommunity.
Besides
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, metals experienced the most striking change.
To begin
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 with, the price for
overall
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 export rose from 32
billion
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HK
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 in 2009 to 38.4
billion
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HK
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 in the next
year
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., which accounted for a 20% change. Following the same increasing trend, the profit gained from the least
value
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 exporting product was huge with 122% (increasing from 23
billion
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HK
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 to 5.1
billion
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HK
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) only in one
year
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 gap. Regarding the most valuable products, the cost of selling equipment abroad was the highest (with 10.3 million
HK
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) compared to other goods in 2009. Standing in second place was telecommunity with 7.9
billion
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HK
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.
However
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, the opposite trend was applied for these two products as the latter was leading with 12.7
billion
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 and the former was after with 11.6
billion
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. The changes took up 61% and 13% respectively. In terms of the other goods, the export
value
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 decreased slightly by around 1
billion
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 compared to the first
year
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 (6
billion
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HK
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 for purchasing clothing and 5.5
billion
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HK
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 for manufacturing). The drop related to clothing products took up 17 %
while
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 the data for manufacturing was 27%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words billion, hk, value, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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