IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Unhealthy eating has a negative effect on both individuals and the society in which they live. Some people think that the government should tax unhealthy foods while others believe that a “fat tax” is unfair and unnecessary. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

#effect #individuals #society #people #government #tax #foods #“fat #tax”
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As nowadays people are eating more and more fast
food
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 which creates an unhealthy
body
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 which can harm both individuals
as well as
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 society. Increasing
tax
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 on fast
food
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 will create some effect but has two sides good and bad. My viewpoint and opinion are discussed below.
Firstly
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, if a government will take more
tax
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 from fast
food
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then
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 it
have
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has
show examples
teo
Correct your spelling
two
 impacts. The country should provide information about keeping a
body
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 fit and fine. The country should give knowledge to a school about
good
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the good
show examples
body
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.
For example
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,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
giving
knowlehge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 about proper diet will help
to
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apply
show examples
countries.
Secondly
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, the benefits side of
this
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 is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
public will eat less junk fruits. My young group will eat
then
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 it has
great
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a great
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 impact on a nation
also
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. The young children's
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body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
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 will be good
then
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 it is better for
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
nation.
Thirdly
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, the disadvantage side is that
a rich groups
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a rich group
rich groups
show examples
 can
afort
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effort
afford
a fort
 but poor groups will fill hard to buy. If
state
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the state
show examples
 will ask for high
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tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
then
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poor
Correct article usage
the poor
show examples
 a society will face difficulty.
For example
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,
country
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a country
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 like a
germany
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Germany
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have
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has
show examples
 good health which
help
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helps
show examples
 both population and
community
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the community
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also
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. In conclusion, if a government wont to reduce unhealthy
food
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then
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 should spread awareness among people
such
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 as ' stay away from unhealthy
food
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 and your health will be good. There will be some impacts if a government ask for high
tax
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 but it has
also
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 disadvantage too.
Hence
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, sparking awareness is more important than imposing
Fat
Correct article usage
a Fat
show examples
tax
Use synonyms
 ,
thus
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 my viewpoint and my opinion
are discuss
Change the verb form
are discussed
show examples
 in the above data.
Submitted by purvametaliya99  on

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