Some people say arts such as music and painting cannot directly improve the quality of people's life, so the government should not put money on art such as music and painting, instead, they should spend more money on construction of public services. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #arts #music #quality #life #government #money #art #construction #services

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Some individuals believe that the state should pay for public life works rather than raising funds for the educational arts subjects because these are not contributors to their future growth. I strongly disagree with the statement since

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creative sectors provide learners with more platforms to show their hidden talents and

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give them financial freedom. To commence with, in most of the regions, a number of folks consider that students outperform in non-academic subjects

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apply

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and induction of several international events is a greater opportunity for younger to showcase their inbuilt skills confidently. Aesthetic painting shows an artist's emotions and deliberations and ,

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, music depicts the singer's mindfulness and, the consequences success has ingrained itself into their lives. Without a doubt, there are an increasing number of arts seminars both locally and globally, which is only the reason for the generation's interest.

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, non-technical fields are more prominent than technical imparting the students job opportunities with decent income compared with science groups musician earned four times more than an engineer by introducing only one concert.

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, leading research in America has shown that non-formal sectors have 60 per cent of the country's economy .

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, I

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opine that ,in a world-fast race, self-possession should be encouraged which not only enhances creativity but is

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magnificent for the future. In conclusion,

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human welfare is the basic need for a country's prosperity and development, I suspect that it is unfair to think that continuing artistic areas is just a waste of money , it reflects the betterment of human inspiration and

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reduces unemployment for a vibrant future.

Submitted by iqrariaz54 on Tue Aug 06 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is great. However, try to ensure your main points are more clearly distinguished from each other and fully developed. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.

Task Achievement

Work on making your arguments clearer and more comprehensive. Include more specific examples and explanations to support your points. This will help to clearly convey your ideas and make your response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, clearly stating your position on the topic and summarizing your points.

Task Achievement

You provided some strong arguments about the importance of arts in education and their benefits, such as fostering creativity and providing financial freedom.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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It is believed that art classes, compared to other subjects, are equally pivotal to a child’s growth. This writer contends that arts should be in high schools’ curriculum, since it enhances the child’s creativity, while there are opposing views due to art classes being irrelevant to academic study.

Some people say arts such as music and painting cannot directly improve the quality of people's life, so the government should not put money on art such as music and painting, instead, they should spend more money on construction of public services. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

104.In some culture, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try har enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some working parents think that childcare centers provide the best care for children who are still too young to go to school. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that the government should financially support retired people. Others think they should care for themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?