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Band 3

Many famous sports players advertise sports products. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#sports #players #products #outweigh
Although
products
 are advertised by famous
athletes
,
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they
intorduce
Correct your spelling
introduce
 different items. In my opinion, I consider that advertisement can bring more advantages for
products
 compared to any issues it might bring. Despite the drawbacks below, I strongly believe that advertising
products
 get attention,
famous
Correct word choice
and famous
show examples
athletes
 will
imposed
Change the verb form
impose
show examples
 it on social media and trading applications. In
this
 case, the visibility will get bigger which means the views of the
products
 will rise. Famous
athletes
 are well known on social media and they
considered
Add a missing verb
are considered
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
models
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people are
admire
Change the form of the verb
admired
show examples
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
achivment
Correct your spelling
achievement
achievements
,which will influence others to buy
products
.
Advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
Advertisements
show examples
 lead to increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sales and marketing which come out with benefits to the companies or shops. Admittedly, there are some problems involved
Change preposition
in athletes
show examples
athletes
Change noun form
athletes'
athlete's
show examples
 famous
advertise
Replace the word
advertising
show examples
some
Change preposition
of some
show examples
 items. To illustrate, influencers
are order
Change the verb form
are ordered
are ordering
show examples
 high
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 to do marketing for any product, which means small shops or companies can not afford it
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they are facing financial difficulties. When famous
athletes
 do
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
 without checking the quality of
product
Correct article usage
the product
show examples
 it will be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 consumers because
they
Add a verb
arethey
werethey
show examples
 totally convinced and confident by what the influencer
impos
Correct your spelling
imposed
,
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
famous
Athletes
 are
concerne
Correct your spelling
concerned
 only about
money
Correct article usage
the money
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they earn. In conclusion, the critical
lessons
Fix the agreement mistake
lesson
show examples
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 famous
athletes
 do not concern about
products
 they concern only about their money. If they advertise for the quality they would be more famous
Submitted by s_syedy on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • endorsement
  • influence
  • credibility
  • reputation
  • globalize
  • brand image
  • penetrate markets
  • role model
  • participation
  • high costs
  • premium pricing
  • overshadow
  • product features
  • consumer trust
  • reputation risk
  • scandal
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