A recent newspaper article reports that a 14 year old boy, who seriously damaged his school, got a punishment to clean streets instead of being sent to the prison. Do you think young criminals should be sent to prison or should alternative forms of punishment be used?

#newspaper #article #reports #year #boy #school #punishment #streets #prison #criminals #alternative #forms

It can see an upward trend for youth crime in many countries, which has caught the public's attention.

Therefore

advocates opine that it is better to put teen offenders behind bars.

However

, from my perspective, there are better measures to punish juvenile criminals,

instead

of imprisonment. Alternative punitive methods like community service are more effective than confinement if young offenders are strictly supervised. Juveniles have a highly impressionable mind and they easily get influenced by their companies.

For example

, they are more likely to be accompanied by adult criminals who are professional and experienced in jail,

therefore

they may be induced to commit

severer

Correct your spelling

severe

show examples

crimes later.

Moreover

, they are at an exceptionally high risk of getting treated violently

while

serving a sentence. Jail terms may harden

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

convict

Fix the agreement mistake

convicts

show examples

against society

as a result

of the brutal treatment they might receive.

Consequently

, it might not be the most effective way to reform juvenile criminals.

By contrast

, if the young law-breakers can serve the community rather than being imprisoned, they are able to embrace an opportunity to rehabilitate.

On the other hand

, after being published for breaking laws, they will have second thoughts before

recommitting

Verb problem

committing

show examples

crimes.

Furthermore

, a criminal record can make

them

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

difficult to land a decent job after being released, which, in a bid to make a living, could be a major contributor to reoffending. After all the aim of the punishment per se is to deter the youth from engaging in delinquencies and violating laws, which should be implemented wisely. In conclusion, juveniles are too young to have a deep understanding of the repercussions of criminal acts, most of which

thus

are hormone-fueled and unintentional

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

are worth forgiving. Under no circumstance do we take the prison sentence as the only way to prevent juvenile crimes, yet more alternatives should be taken into consideration.

Submitted by 76805977 on Fri Jul 21 2023

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task response

Provide more specific examples and statistics to support your arguments. This will enhance the credibility of your points and strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear progression of ideas throughout your essay. Connect your ideas logically to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

305 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

juveniles
delinquency
rehabilitation
reintegration
recidivism
deterrent
impact
consequences
community service
restorative justice

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A recent newspaper article reports that a 14 year old boy, who seriously damaged his school, got a punishment to clean streets instead of being sent to the prison. Do you think young criminals should be sent to prison or should alternative forms of punishment be used?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Ambition is a positive quality for people to have in society today. How important is it for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

The picture depicts how Islip town centre planned development.

Due to the rapid development and expansion of supermarkets in some countries many small, local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local businesses will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others belive that some imformation is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

At present, science is developing quickly, but some people still have a high opinion of artists. What can the arts tell us of life that science cannot?