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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In some countries, youngsters are usually believed that they can reach their goals if they try to make their efforts enough.It seems to me that giving
children
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this
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 notion will have positives and negatives impact on them. On the one hand, to achieve their goals,
children
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 should have a power source of motivation.
For example
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, Messi, who is one of the most well-known football players in the world. Thanks to his efforts and passion
that is
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 the key to opening the future and becoming successful in his career.
In addition
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 , parents play a vital role in
this
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 situation. Fathers and mothers set a good example for their kids to help them become studious students to reach their targets.
Besides
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,
this
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 way can help many poor
children
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 try hard to get a better life in the future.
As a result
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, young people should try their best at school and have
a
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apply
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good academic performance.
However
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, there are many drawbacks to
this
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 way. The most significant is that it can bring a large of pressure.
This
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 is because
children
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 who are unable to achieve a goal may burn out. Another limitation is that may lead to young people wasting their time. An illustration of
this
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 is, if a youngster is pursuing dreams, they can not attempt,
this
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 time may be better spent on something else. In conclusion, giving
children
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this
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 message that they can attempt everything through diligence because it becomes inspiration and comfortable.
By contrast
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, there are various negatives influence on
children
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such
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 as pressure, stress and it can waste of time if young people can not reach their goals.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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