Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes, such as a robbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #crimes #robbery #attack #adults

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Some individuals argue that children under 18 should be sentenced in the same way as adults who committed serious sins

such

as stealing or causing extreme physical threats. Personally, I strongly disagree with

this

concept.

This

essay will analyse the difference between my viewpoint and the title.

Firstly

, Some people agree with the statement that crimes cannot be ignored even if a teenager commits them. As a matter of fact, children usually follow other people and they are unaware of the effect of their actions.

For example

, A 16-year-old driver causes the hit-and-run by ramming his car into a mother and an infant child.

Accordingly

, guilt should be prevented, so it will not spread.

On the other hand

, Some citizens have an opposite view of the statement, because they completely appreciate the consequence of the determination. Everybody needs one chance to prove themselves.

Therefore

, punishment may not only be the present of innocence but

also

the future. Most of the mistakes just happened simultaneously.

For instance

, as per an inspection, it is believed that the human soul is innocent, day by day, it may be threatened for some reasons. It is based on every personality that they want to become. Their soul will be turned into bad because of the harsh treatment.

Thus

, the youth of the country may have at least one chance so they can improve themselves In conclusion,

although

offences ought not to be avoidable, There should be different punishments for adults and underage personalities.

Submitted by Alexandre Harvey on Fri Jul 21 2023

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task achievement

In terms of task achievement, the essay attempts to respond to the prompt, but it lacks clear and comprehensive exposition of ideas. The writer's position is stated but not developed with sufficient clarity or detail. To improve, each argument should be expanded with more detailed explanations and relevant examples to substantiate them.

coherence cohesion

Regarding coherence and cohesion, the essay presents ideas in a generally organized manner, but the logical flow between ideas and paragraphs could be enhanced. To achieve a better score, focus on creating smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, coherence can be improved by consistently reinforcing the thesis throughout the essay, ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea that supports the overall position.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

248 words

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Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes, such as a robbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

2.Some high school leavers tent to travel or work while before going to university directly. What do you think are the advantages more than disadvantages?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarcric. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourits who visit such places?

Your co-worker Irena Black wants to have a meeting with you on Tuesday afternoon. Write an email to Irena Black. In your email: Explain why you can’t meet her on Tuesday afternoon Offer to meet her on a different day Ask her what the meeting is about Try to write a minimum of 50 words

Many parents today organise extra classes for their children after school and at the weekends. Do you feel that this is a worthwhile thing to do or you feel children have enough education at school?

Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful, but they are also likely to suffer from negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?