IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that we should invest more money in classroom technology and equipment. Others argue that we should spend this money on teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The ongoing discussion surrounding education funding revolves around the allocation of resources between
classroom
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technology
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 and teacher support. Advocates of
automation
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 assert its transformative potential in enhancing learning experiences,
while
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 proponents of investing in
faculty
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 highlight their indispensable role in nurturing
students
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' intellectual and emotional growth.
This
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 essay will explore both viewpoints and contend in favour of investing in
classroom
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technology
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, supported by a compelling example.   Supporters of investing in
classroom
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automation
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 argue that it can
revolutionize
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revolutionise
show examples
 the learning environment, providing novel opportunities for graduate engagement. Smartboards,
for instance
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, transform classrooms into dynamic learning spaces, enabling
faculty
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 to deliver interactive lessons, display multimedia content, and accommodate diverse learning styles.
Additionally
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, educational software and applications can
personalize
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personalise
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 learning experiences, addressing individual graduate needs and pacing, fostering self-directed learning and encouraging
students
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 to take ownership of their educational journey. Consider a science class where
students
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 are no longer confined to reading textbooks and studying static diagrams. With the aid of AR
automation
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, they can embark on virtual expeditions, exploring the intricate details of biological cells, geological formations, or astronomical wonders in 3D.
This
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 immersive experience not only kindles their curiosity but
also
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 deepens their comprehension and emotional connection with the subject matter.    
Conversely
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, advocates of investing in
faculty
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emphasize
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emphasise
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 that educators are the pillars of any education system. Well-supported and well-trained teachers possess the ability to inspire and
instill
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instil
show examples
 a love for learning in their
students
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. Through ongoing professional development opportunities,
faculty
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 can refine their teaching methodologies and adapt to the evolving needs of their
students
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, rendering the learning experience more effective and meaningful.
While
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 investing in
faculty
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 remains crucial, we should not underestimate the immense potential that
classroom
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automation
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 holds in complementing their efforts. A harmonious approach that amalgamates both facets is ideal. Integrating
automation
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 into the
classroom
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 empowers
faculty
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 to innovate and diversify their teaching methods, leading to enhanced graduate engagement and outcomes.
Technology
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 should be regarded as a valuable tool that amplifies teaching effectiveness, not as a substitute for educators.   In conclusion, the debate over investing in
classroom
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technology
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 versus
prioritizing
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prioritising
show examples
 teachers warrants thoughtful consideration.
While
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 both aspects are integral to a holistic educational experience,
technology
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, when seamlessly integrated with effective teaching practices, holds the potential to transform education and uplift student outcomes significantly. Striking a balanced approach between investing in
technology
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 and empowering teachers is pivotal in fostering an enriching and future-ready educational environment for our
students
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.

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structure
Make the two views clear. State your own view right at the end as a strong yes or no.
development
Give more facts or calm steps to show your idea. Clear body paragraph with one main point.
language
Use simple words. Some parts have hard words. Try to keep to common words.
coherence
Link ideas with simple signs so the essay flows well. Try one main idea per paragraph.
style
Check grammar and phrase so it reads easy. Use short sentences.
content
Clear view on the topic and a conclusion that states your stance.
evidence
Good use of an example (AR) to show tech in class.
cohesion
Strong use of linking words to show contrast.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Classroom technology
  • Interactive whiteboards
  • Tablets
  • Educational software
  • Online resources
  • Learning styles
  • Inclusive learning
  • Personalized education
  • Dependency
  • Mental arithmetic
  • Salaries
  • Training programs
  • Professional development
  • Retain
  • Skilled educators
  • Inspire
  • Motivate
  • Guide
  • Balanced approach
  • Educational ecosystem
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