Some people believe that what children watch on television influences their behaviour. Others say that amount of time spent watching television influences their behaviour. Discuss both views and give own opinion

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Many individuals think that
children
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's
behavior
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behaviour
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can be affected by watching
TV
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,
while
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others believe that the amount of
time
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they spend watching is the main culprit. I will give some information about both views.
Firstly
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, some
TV
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programs
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can influence
children
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immediately because of their severity.
Due to
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the advance of technology,
children
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can easily access many
channels
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on the
TV
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with just a click thereby they can watch anything that can fulfil their curiosities.
This
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spells trouble for an increasing number of bad
programs
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reaching
such
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vulnerable subjects as
children
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, and that can lead to dire consequences.
For instance
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, the Blue Whale challenge was a hot trend in 2018, and
this
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was to blame for hundreds of teenagers in America committing suicide.
On the other hand
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, some
channels
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might take
time
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to affect
children
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's behaviour. If
children
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are under their
parents'
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parent's
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supervision, they
would be
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are
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told what is right or wrong about the
programs
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that they watch, so bad videos about violence, sex, and negative challenges cannot affect them
further
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.
Otherwise
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, the more
time
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they watch negative television
channels
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, the more violent they become, and maybe one or two times watching
TV
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does not count, but four or five times definitely affect them.
On the other hand
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, parents can allow their
children
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to watch positive
channels
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such
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as educational
programs
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and exercise videos, thereby they can develop their cognitive skills, information processing skills, and fitness level.
To conclude
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, there are many
channels
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on
TV
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that can affect
children
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in a straightforward way, but others still need
time
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to influence their
behavior
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behaviour
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. I still strongly believe that parents have to be like partners with their
children
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to control what they are watching.
Submitted by phuongnga24042003 on

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, make sure to provide a balanced discussion by elaborating equally on both viewpoints and integrating more examples or studies that illustrate the points more vividly. This way, your argument will be more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, use more transitional phrases and connectors to seamlessly link your ideas between and within paragraphs. This will improve the flow of your essay and make it easier for readers to follow your line of reasoning.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps the reader understand your arguments easily.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as the Blue Whale challenge, to support your points, which adds depth and credibility to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively sums up your viewpoints and reinforces the importance of parental involvement, staying consistent with the arguments made in the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence behaviour
  • violent content
  • inappropriate content
  • educational programs
  • role models
  • aggressive behaviour
  • positive behaviour
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • physical health issues
  • social interactions
  • social skills
  • parental involvement
  • moderate impact
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