Some people believe that what children watch on television influences their behaviour. Others say that amount of time spent watching television influences their behaviour. Discuss both views and give own opinion

Many individuals think that
children
's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
can be affected by watching
TV
,
while
others believe that the amount of
time
they spend watching is the main culprit. I will give some information about both views.
Firstly
, some
TV
programs
can influence
children
immediately because of their severity.
Due to
the advance of technology,
children
can easily access many
channels
on the
TV
with just a click thereby they can watch anything that can fulfil their curiosities.
This
spells trouble for an increasing number of bad
programs
reaching
such
vulnerable subjects as
children
, and that can lead to dire consequences.
For instance
, the Blue Whale challenge was a hot trend in 2018, and
this
was to blame for hundreds of teenagers in America committing suicide.
On the other hand
, some
channels
might take
time
to affect
children
's behaviour. If
children
are under their
parents'
Correct your spelling
parent's
show examples
supervision, they
would be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
told what is right or wrong about the
programs
that they watch, so bad videos about violence, sex, and negative challenges cannot affect them
further
.
Otherwise
, the more
time
they watch negative television
channels
, the more violent they become, and maybe one or two times watching
TV
does not count, but four or five times definitely affect them.
On the other hand
, parents can allow their
children
to watch positive
channels
such
as educational
programs
and exercise videos, thereby they can develop their cognitive skills, information processing skills, and fitness level.
To conclude
, there are many
channels
on
TV
that can affect
children
in a straightforward way, but others still need
time
to influence their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. I still strongly believe that parents have to be like partners with their
children
to control what they are watching.
Submitted by phuongnga24042003 on

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, make sure to provide a balanced discussion by elaborating equally on both viewpoints and integrating more examples or studies that illustrate the points more vividly. This way, your argument will be more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, use more transitional phrases and connectors to seamlessly link your ideas between and within paragraphs. This will improve the flow of your essay and make it easier for readers to follow your line of reasoning.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps the reader understand your arguments easily.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as the Blue Whale challenge, to support your points, which adds depth and credibility to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively sums up your viewpoints and reinforces the importance of parental involvement, staying consistent with the arguments made in the essay.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence behaviour
  • violent content
  • inappropriate content
  • educational programs
  • role models
  • aggressive behaviour
  • positive behaviour
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • physical health issues
  • social interactions
  • social skills
  • parental involvement
  • moderate impact
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