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Band 5.5

Some people believe they should keep all the money they earn instead of paying tax to the state, to which extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #tax
In
this
 contemporary epoch, the issue of whether or not
people
 should
be possess
Change the verb form
possess
show examples
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
money
while
 not paying
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 is certainly a contentious one. Whilst there are valid arguments to the contrary. I personally believe that citizens should be paid to the country, especially
Correct pronoun usage
those which
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which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
able
Correct your spelling
table
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 under the condition
,
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apply
show examples
 because
this
 can help the government unify management. In
this
 essay, both views
along with
 my opinion will be
further
 elaborated. On one hand, many
people
 discern that those incomes should not be taxed
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the nation.
This
 means they can
free
Replace the word
freely
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 use funds, and
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
 afraid not demand to prepare some cash
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the state.
Therefore
, they have able to hold all the
money
 they won. An eminent example of
this
money
 may assist a part of their children
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
 more education funds or help them have far more
money
 to buy a house.
Thus
, the public
want
Change the verb form
wants
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 to their salary on themselves, but not hand them give to
government
Add an article
the government
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. On
Correct article usage
the other
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other hand
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
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, despite
Correct article usage
the previously-mentioned
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previously-mentioned
Correct your spelling
previously mentioned
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some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 ideas, I emphasize that states need to folks collect taxes.
This
 can promote government management together, and reduce
gap
Add an article
the gap
show examples
 between rich and poor. At the same time, the administration can
also
 use these funds for city construction.
In other words
, folks should become a taxpayer. Because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the proportion of
money
 paid by wealthy and poor
people
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the same. In conclusion,
after
this
 essay has manifested the above-mentioned point, it can be reiterated that the public should
be share
Change the verb form
share
show examples
 some
money
 for
nation building
Add a hyphen
nation-building
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 and economic inequality.
Therefore
, I once again reaffirm my position that folks should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
pay
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 to the state.
Submitted by cyh000823 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
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