IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #household #expenditures #japan #malaysia #year #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The charts compare the proportion of spending on different goods and
services
Use synonyms
 in two countries in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, It can be seen that people in both countries spent the largest part of their incomes on Housing and Food
services
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 Health Care received the lowest share of
expenditure
Use synonyms
. House
services
Use synonyms
 were the highest
expenditure
Use synonyms
 in Malaysia,
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for 34 %,
while
Linking Words
 Japanese households allocated just 21% of their budget to
this
Linking Words
 category. In terms of Food, the percentage of
expenditure
Use synonyms
 in Japan and Malaysia was similar at 24% and 27%, respectively. Regarding
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
show examples
 categories, Japanese households spent a fifth of the total spending on Transport
services
Use synonyms
, twice as much as the figure for Malaysia.
Health care
Correct your spelling
Healthcare
show examples
services
Use synonyms
 received the lowest proportion of average household
expenditure
Use synonyms
 in
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 countries,
while
Linking Words
 Other goods and
services
Use synonyms
 were quite significant, at over a quarter in each country.
Submitted by boocheapofficial on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words services, expenditure with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: