IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #household #expenditures #japan #malaysia #year #information #features #comparisons
The charts compare the proportion of spending on different goods and
services
 in two countries in 2010.
Overall
, It can be seen that people in both countries spent the largest part of their incomes on Housing and Food
services
,
while
 Health Care received the lowest share of
expenditure
. House
services
 were the highest
expenditure
 in Malaysia,
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for 34 %,
while
 Japanese households allocated just 21% of their budget to
this
 category. In terms of Food, the percentage of
expenditure
 in Japan and Malaysia was similar at 24% and 27%, respectively. Regarding
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
show examples
 categories, Japanese households spent a fifth of the total spending on Transport
services
, twice as much as the figure for Malaysia.
Health care
Correct your spelling
Healthcare
show examples
services
 received the lowest proportion of average household
expenditure
 in
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 countries,
while
 Other goods and
services
 were quite significant, at over a quarter in each country.
Submitted by boocheapofficial on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words services, expenditure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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