We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#world #communities #countries

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Some people believe that we should only help people who are from our community. I disagree with

this

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point of view because I think that some societies have the possibility to be in solidarity with other areas.

Firstly

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, I think that the vision could be a big problem in the future.

That is

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because a rich country can have a very good economic moment but on a specific day for a specific event a country could enter a bad moment and not have the possibility to survive and if they had not been in solidarity, they would have been in big issues.

For example

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, Japan is a friendly country which supports areas which have issues,

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

one day, Japan was the victim of a tsunami, and they had many problems but

due to

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that they were friendly in the past they received food, clothes, and money, among others.

Additionally

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, helping other societies should be done because everybody is a human. That means that there is no reason

to do

Verb problem

apply

show examples

not to support a person from a foreign zone because he or she has the same rights as anybody.

For instance

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, nowadays there is a war which is fighting Russia against Ukraine, and many people from Ukraine are in a dramatic situation in my opinion any community could not support these refugees.

To sum up

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, any community should help as we cannot know what will

pass

Verb problem

happen

show examples

in the future and if we will need other areas.

Also

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, everybody should receive another opportunity if he or she has any problem.

Submitted by santos_dij on Fri Jul 21 2023

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task response

The essay demonstrates a partial understanding of the prompt, but the response lacks strong arguments and clear reasoning. More focus on addressing the specific points of the prompt is needed.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are lacking in clarity and do not effectively frame the essay. Use clearer and more concise language to introduce the topic and summarize the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

global interconnectivity
international cooperation
ethics
moral obligation
geographical borders
diplomatic relations
economic stability
global security
resource allocation
expertise
international aid
dependency and development
sustainable solutions
local and global initiatives
community resilience

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We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can be considered negative for young people and society generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

People are surrounded by advertising. Advertising can influence what people think So it has negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays artificial intelligence is being used to drive cars. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or negative development?

In some parts of the world , many famous people are regarded as 'role models' and they are having an increasing on the youth Is that a positive or negative developments