In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantage? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge for experience.

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For me, I prefer to choose to study abroad.

While

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there are good benefits

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studying in a foreign country. On the one hand, there are many benefits of studying abroad.

Firstly

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, overseas

students

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become more independent by living alone in

foreign

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a foreign

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country.

For instance

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, they are responsible for cleaning, cooking, and paying bills.

Secondly

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, moving to other countries can broaden

students

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’ horizons. They get exposed to different cultures and customs and gain knowledge about them.

Also

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, overseas

students

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learn foreign languages to cope with the new

culture

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they

involved

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are involved

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in.

Finally

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, foreign institutions offer better courses for

students

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.The qualification gained

open

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opens

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the door to

get

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getting

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better job opportunities with high salaries.

On the other hand

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, I would argue that studying abroad has more negative impacts than the positive

one

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ones

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. One problem is that it can affect

students

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psychologically. Studying alone in an unfamiliar

culture

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can lead to homesickness or even depression.

Also

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this

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different

culture

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may lead to

culture

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shock which may affect the student’s performance. Another drawback of studying overseas is that

students

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can experience some problems with paperwork like visa

permit

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permits

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and may struggle to find suitable accommodation and

paying

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pay

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their bills.

This

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may add more pressure on the

students

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and interrupt their studying.

Furthermore

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, the language barrier may exacerbate the situation. Studying in a foreign language is a difficult task

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for

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many

students

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and if they

failed

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fail

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to master the language and communication

skill

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skills

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this

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may lead to

the

Correct article usage

apply

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isolation from the community and might cause a failure in studying. In conclusion, the drawback of studying abroad outweighs the benefit and

this

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decision needs more assessment from the

students

Use synonyms

rasyidrahma13Wed Apr 24 2024

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Task Achievements

Keep a balanced view throughout the essay to provide a more nuanced argument. You initially argued for studying abroad but concluded against it. Ensure your position is clear and consistent.

Task Achievements

In your introduction and conclusion, clearly state your viewpoint to ensure the reader understands your position from the beginning.

Coherence Cohesion

Develop your paragraphs with a clearer structure by introducing one main point per paragraph and supporting it with detailed examples.

Coherence Cohesion

For a higher score, make links between your paragraphs clearer through the use of cohesive devices and transitional phrases.

Coherence Cohesion

Incorporate more complex sentence structures and vary your vocabulary to enhance your linguistic range and accuracy.

Task Achievements

Detailed examination of both sides of the argument, demonstrating good analytical skills.

Coherence Cohesion

Use of examples and scenarios to support arguments, demonstrating an understanding of the essay topic.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

independence
self-reliance
finance management
exposure
broaden horizons
open-minded
adaptability
conducive environment
isolation
homesickness
financial burden
household duties
academic responsibilities
personal growth

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