In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantage? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge for experience.

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For me, I prefer to choose to study abroad.
While
there are good benefits
in
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to
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studying in a foreign country. On the one hand, there are many benefits of studying abroad.
Firstly
, overseas
students
become more independent by living alone in
foreign
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a foreign
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country.
For instance
, they are responsible for cleaning, cooking, and paying bills.
Secondly
, moving to other countries can broaden
students
’ horizons. They get exposed to different cultures and customs and gain knowledge about them.
Also
, overseas
students
learn foreign languages to cope with the new
culture
they
involved
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are involved
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in.
Finally
, foreign institutions offer better courses for
students
.The qualification gained
open
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opens
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the door to
get
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getting
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better job opportunities with high salaries.
On the other hand
, I would argue that studying abroad has more negative impacts than the positive
one
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ones
show examples
. One problem is that it can affect
students
psychologically. Studying alone in an unfamiliar
culture
can lead to homesickness or even depression.
Also
,
this
different
culture
may lead to
culture
shock which may affect the student’s performance. Another drawback of studying overseas is that
students
can experience some problems with paperwork like visa
permit
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permits
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and may struggle to find suitable accommodation and
paying
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pay
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their bills.
This
may add more pressure on the
students
and interrupt their studying.
Furthermore
, the language barrier may exacerbate the situation. Studying in a foreign language is a difficult task
to
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for
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many
students
and if they
failed
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fail
show examples
to master the language and communication
skill
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skills
show examples
,
this
may lead to
the
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apply
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isolation from the community and might cause a failure in studying. In conclusion, the drawback of studying abroad outweighs the benefit and
this
decision needs more assessment from the
students
.
Submitted by rasyidrahma13 on

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Task Achievements
Keep a balanced view throughout the essay to provide a more nuanced argument. You initially argued for studying abroad but concluded against it. Ensure your position is clear and consistent.
Task Achievements
In your introduction and conclusion, clearly state your viewpoint to ensure the reader understands your position from the beginning.
Coherence Cohesion
Develop your paragraphs with a clearer structure by introducing one main point per paragraph and supporting it with detailed examples.
Coherence Cohesion
For a higher score, make links between your paragraphs clearer through the use of cohesive devices and transitional phrases.
Coherence Cohesion
Incorporate more complex sentence structures and vary your vocabulary to enhance your linguistic range and accuracy.
Task Achievements
Detailed examination of both sides of the argument, demonstrating good analytical skills.
Coherence Cohesion
Use of examples and scenarios to support arguments, demonstrating an understanding of the essay topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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