Some people prefer to raise children in the cities while others believe that children should be raised in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your opinion
The care of the children is
crutial
for progenitors, Correct your spelling
crucial
critical
this
reason makes parents
take important decisions in order to give the best guidance to their prole. That is
why some parents
prefer raising them in cities meanwhile others think is better guide
in Verb problem
to live
a
Correct article usage
the
countryside
. In this
essay, it will be elucidated both point
of view and my personal opinion will be given.
Fix the agreement mistake
points
Firstly
, fostering an
holistic growth in a Correct article usage
apply
city
is easier and more convenient for immediate relatives. Children in a city
are close to important facilities such
as hospitals, kindergartens, schools, amusement parks, sports center
, cinemas, Fix the agreement mistake
centers
shopping
malls, amongst others, which provide the perfect environment for the young. Correct word choice
and shopping
In addition
, it's a strong likely
to find other infants in which they can interact and learn from their mistakes. Replace the word
likelihood
For instance
, children who behave naughty can acknowledge easier
and express their emotions in front of adults when the mistake is shared. Rephrase
more easily
As a result
, the
teens who grow Correct article usage
apply
in
a Change preposition
up in
city
enhance strong maturity, social skills and a
enjoyable lifestyle. Change the article
an
However
, they are exposed to hazards with mortal consequences like pollution, criminality, or worse, get
involved with drugs or prostitution.
Wrong verb form
getting
On the other hand
, the calm and big-hearted lifestyle of farms in the countryside
provide
self-confidence and thrived growth to the infant. Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
Besides
, meanwhile
they can't enjoy entertainment facilities they can use their own property in order to enhance their own intelligence and force. As a sample, a kid Add a comma
meanwhile,
grown
Wrong verb form
growing
in
the outskirts developed important skills like applied knowledge in math, economics, agriculture, veterinary, construction, and other aspects like good habits Change preposition
up in
as
cleaning, organizing, and administrating properties. Correct quantifier usage
such as
As a consequence
, the teens who learned
in Wrong verb form
learn
countryside
are more adapted, financially Add an article
the countryside
better-off
and Correct your spelling
better off
excellent
health Change preposition
in excellent
condition
. Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
Nevertheless
, they can't develop social skills and can
manifest properly their emotions. Verb problem
apply
Thus
, in some cases, the lack of interacting
with Replace the word
interaction
other
can produce Fix the agreement mistake
others
psychology
issues and Replace the word
psychological
unstable
lifestyle.
Correct article usage
an unstable
To sum up
, we consider both sides of the table and it can be concluded that each point of view has its pros and cons. Expressed simple
, Change the word
simply
parents
can decide both sides without feeling guilty. Nonetheless
, in my personal opinion, I agree that brood should raise
in cities. In a nutshell, nowadays we are living in a Wrong verb form
be raised
globalizated
world where all are connected. Correct your spelling
globalised
Also
, the
communication and interaction amongst Correct article usage
apply
are
more important than Correct quantifier usage
others are
a
individual growth. Remove the article
apply
Therefore
, I recommend for future parents
involve the guidance of their prole in a city
environment than the countryside
.Submitted by natalyrau13 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical organization. Establish a clear introductory paragraph, concise body paragraphs with clear main ideas and examples, and a summarizing conclusion. Paragraphs should be delineated clearly with appropriate linking words and phrases to aid coherence.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs, and ensure they are used accurately. This includes substitution, ellipsis, and referencing in addition to the conjunctions and transitional phrases.
coherence cohesion
Expand on your introduction by more clearly outlining the two views and your own opinion. Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and restates your perspective.
task achievement
Develop clear and comprehensive ideas in your body paragraphs with specific and relevant examples to support your argument. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and develop it thoroughly with evidence and analysis.
coherence cohesion
Avoid informal language, spelling and grammatical errors that can make your essay appear unprofessional or unclear. Always proofread your essay to correct these and achieve a more academic tone.
task achievement
Make sure to directly address the prompt by discussing both views equally before providing your own opinion. Ensure that each view and your opinion are all discussed to offer a complete response to the task.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.