IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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There are people with many problems all around the world. I absolutely agree with it, we should help them even if they are not part of our country or community
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 the following reasons if we do not help them, nobody is going to and in the future, it could be us who are in their situation. On our planet, there are so many different societies with disparate situations. In some parts of Africa, living conditions are deplorable. They do not have the same opportunities of getting food as our society and it continues to happen nowadays even if it is not as important as in the past.
Consequently
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, we should help them with all we can because they are not able to overcome their situation without our contribution.
For example
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, a prestigious sociologist called Isaac Barbadillo, states that 85% of people in poverty need the cooperation of other nations. Since time immemorial, the poor population have almost always been in similar places
such
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 as Africa, parts of South America or Asia. We are used to it always being
this
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 way,
nevertheless
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, in the future, it could be our society
that is
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 in extreme poverty and we would like to have cooperation from other countries in the world.
For instance
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, a German economist called Manuel Neuer, affirms that in 2100, Africa and Asia will be the great world powers and Europe and America will be behind these two.
To conclude
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, I could not agree more with the idea of helping other countries or communities because it is our obligation and it could be us who need help

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Task Achievement
Try to elaborate further on your main ideas to provide a more comprehensive discussion. Consider including more examples or deeper insights into the implications of your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical flow between your paragraphs. Transition phrases or linking words can help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
Task Achievement
Make sure to address the counter-argument or alternative viewpoint briefly, as this can enhance your argument by acknowledging differing perspectives.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, showing a strong belief in helping others beyond one's community.
Task Achievement
Your use of specific examples, like sociologists and economists, shows an attempt to support your points with credible references, which adds strength to your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • global interconnectivity
  • international cooperation
  • ethics
  • moral obligation
  • geographical borders
  • diplomatic relations
  • economic stability
  • global security
  • resource allocation
  • expertise
  • international aid
  • dependency and development
  • sustainable solutions
  • local and global initiatives
  • community resilience
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