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Band 5.5

More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending a short time in communities in poorer countries doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses. Why? Who benefit from this, the community or these young people?

#people #countries #time #communities #work #houses #benefit #community
Nowadays volunteer work is really important for the wellbeing of an undeveloped community. A plethora of
people
 spend a good amount of time supporting
such
 activities,
such
 as educating children or assisting in the development of houses. In
this
 ,essay we will discuss how the young generation
gets benefitted
Wrong verb form
benefits
show examples
 from
such
 work as helps in decreasing the standard of living between different countries and alternatively getting a boost in their careers. The primary reason why individuals from a developed country
support
this
 is to reduce the gap between the rich and the poor. As
people
 from poorer countries do not have the option to get a better education or have a proper place to live which results in an increase in that gap. Young
people
 from wealthy countries have all the resources which help them become successful in life and by helping the undeserved ones they can pass on the things which they have learned.
For instance
, UNICEF was looking
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for volunteers from the United States and Canada to assist them with schools they
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 set up in Kenya.
Nevertheless
, when these individuals
support
 these causes they get international
recognization
Correct your spelling
recognition
show examples
 and exposure which benefits them in their careers as well. By performing these kinds of activities they do get a certification of appreciation or assistance.
For example
, as per recent ,studies major technology companies in the United States have amended their hiring process to prioritize
people
 who have helped in some ways to the communities. So, since these candidates have provided their
support
 they do benefit from these social causes.
To conclude
, more and more
people
 should come forward and
support
this
 cause as it creates equality and welfare amongst the whole world by only performing tasks which they are good at because they do have social obligations towards society
whereas
, it
also
 helps the communities. Your's faithfully
Submitted by karanmehta1610 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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