Many people buy products that they do not really need and replace old products with new ones unnecessarily. Why do people buy things they do not really need? Do you think this is a good thing

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Overspending is very common nowadays as many individuals buy items may they not necessary
as well as
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rechange old ones with the newest ones. The real reason behind the higher proportion of consumerism is
advertisements
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which make artificial wants for many
products
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. In my opinion,
this
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behaviour is not
good
Rephrase
as good
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as making a throw-away society. One of the most crucial drivers that encourage
people
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to buy more is a lot of adverts that tempt them to make more and more expenditures. In fact, some smart and fascinating
advertisements
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create artificial needs for some
products
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and in
this
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way
Add a comma
way,
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individuals always continue buying new things that may
are
Verb problem
apply
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not very essential in reality.
Furthermore
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,
people
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prefer having a new version of every product to be up-to-date.
For example
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, most
people
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prefer to replace the oldest versions of some electronic gadgets with the latest version even though the oldest ones
are
Verb problem
apply
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still
performed
Wrong verb form
perform
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well. Nowadays, individuals have an addiction to afford the newest
products
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. Overspending can cause many financial problems. In fact, a higher rate of consumption leads
people
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to fall into heavy debt.
Hence
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, unessential buying poses financial strains and allows more
people
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to get into debt.
This
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behaviour is totally not very good and
people
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should be taught to make responsible financial activities. It is very crucial for
people
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to be more aware of fake
advertisements
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and be taught to only buy the
products
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that really need them. In conclusion, consumerism is highly increased
according to
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the pivotal role of
advertisements
Use synonyms
. Overconsumption causes many financial problems and
hence
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I believe
this
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trend is not very good.
Submitted by fmalquran112 on

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task response
Ensure that you fully address all aspects of the prompt. Also, make sure to express your opinion clearly in the introduction and develop it throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing your essay effectively with clear paragraph structure and logical progression of ideas. Use linking words and cohesive devices to connect ideas more effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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