Many people buy products that they do not really need and replace old products with new ones unnecessarily. Why do people buy things they do not really need? Do you think this is a good thing

#people #products #ones

Overspending is very common nowadays as many individuals buy items may they not necessary

as well as

rechange old ones with the newest ones. The real reason behind the higher proportion of consumerism is

advertisements

which make artificial wants for many

products

. In my opinion,

this

behaviour is not

good

Rephrase

as good

show examples

as making a throw-away society. One of the most crucial drivers that encourage

people

to buy more is a lot of adverts that tempt them to make more and more expenditures. In fact, some smart and fascinating

advertisements

create artificial needs for some

products

and in

this

way

Add a comma

way,

show examples

individuals always continue buying new things that may

are

Verb problem

apply

show examples

not very essential in reality.

Furthermore

people

prefer having a new version of every product to be up-to-date.

For example

, most

people

prefer to replace the oldest versions of some electronic gadgets with the latest version even though the oldest ones

are

Verb problem

apply

show examples

still

performed

Wrong verb form

perform

show examples

well. Nowadays, individuals have an addiction to afford the newest

products

. Overspending can cause many financial problems. In fact, a higher rate of consumption leads

people

to fall into heavy debt.

Hence

, unessential buying poses financial strains and allows more

people

to get into debt.

This

behaviour is totally not very good and

people

should be taught to make responsible financial activities. It is very crucial for

people

to be more aware of fake

advertisements

and be taught to only buy the

products

that really need them. In conclusion, consumerism is highly increased

according to

the pivotal role of

advertisements

. Overconsumption causes many financial problems and

hence

I believe

this

trend is not very good.

Submitted by fmalquran112 on Fri Jul 21 2023

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task response

Ensure that you fully address all aspects of the prompt. Also, make sure to express your opinion clearly in the introduction and develop it throughout the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Work on organizing your essay effectively with clear paragraph structure and logical progression of ideas. Use linking words and cohesive devices to connect ideas more effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people buy products that they do not really need and replace old products with new ones unnecessarily. Why do people buy things they do not really need? Do you think this is a good thing

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

You and your family are living in rented accommodation in an English speaking country. You are not satisfied with the condition of some of the furniture. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter

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Nowadays, the people lives are longer and in some countries, there are more lod people than young people Advantages and disadvantages?

Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotions and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products.