Write about the following topic: Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What effect will this have on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is an unfortunate truth that many
criminals
persist in a life of
crime
after being in jail.
This
is largely
due to
an unwillingness of
society
to accept ex-convicts, which harms the economy and causes an increase in
crime
victims
. Owing to a lack of job opportunities once out of prison, most former prisoners feel insecure
in
Change preposition
about
show examples
their future. Many finish with a prison record which puts off recruitment managers at major corporations who often feel ex-offenders are untrustworthy.
As a result
, in the United States, almost
three quarters
Add a hyphen
three-quarters
show examples
of all ex-inmates turn to
crime
within five years of leaving prison.
Additionally
,
society
is frequently reluctant to welcome back ex-prisoners. Former
criminals
report difficulty finding apartments to rent or even applying for financial aid to fund their education.
This
causes many to feel that a criminal life is their only option. Reoffending hurts both the economy and those
victims
of
crime
. When former
criminals
reoffend
Correct your spelling
re-offend
, more tax dollars must be spent on re-incarceration, legal fees and maintaining prisoners in jail. As re-offenses continue, budgets for other government programs
such
as education or social services must be cut to make up for increased expenses. Reoffending
also
results in more
crime
victims
, many of whom face a lifetime of torment from the trauma created by
crime
. The more
victims
there are, the more pressure that citizens put on governments to maintain a safe
society
which causes more police and overcrowding in prisons which studies show only makes the issue worse. In conclusion, an uncertain future and hostile
society
results
Change the verb form
result
show examples
in more
crime
, more
victims
and more expense to the
tax payer
Correct your spelling
taxpayer
show examples
. Only through changing attitudes will
criminals
ever be given the chance to have a future and avoid turning back to
crime
.
Submitted by preetiaug25 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains a clear main idea and supporting details. The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, but supporting paragraphs need further development to enhance logical structure.
task achievement
You have addressed the task, but could provide a more in-depth exploration of the causes and effects to enrich the content of the essay. Relevant, detailed examples, particularly personal or widely recognised ones, could significantly enhance the response.

Your opinion

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