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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

people nowadays tend to have children at an later and older ages.Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is an irrefutable fact that individuals in the contemporary era tend to have juveniles at an older
age
Use synonyms
.
Although
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,it has certain demerits
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however
Rephrase
apply
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it is proven as a boon which will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, a few cons are associated with
this
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 trend.The prominent reason is,
when
Correct word choice
that when
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 parents give birth to offspring at an older
age
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 it can affect the health of their juvenile.The pupil can be born abnormal because the mother's
age
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 is not suitable for giving birth.To cite an example,when older
citizen
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citizens
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 plan to have a child at the
age
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 of 55
then
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 there are high
chances
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chance
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 that the child born is abnormal.
This
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 can
also
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 affect the mental health of the parents as well.
On the contrary
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,taking advantages into consideration,it has a plethora of upsides.The first and foremost is,parents already planned their financial expenses which they have to spend on their offspring.They make plans because they do not want to trouble their children in future
due to
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 any circumstances
such
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 as loss in the business, natural calamities and so on.To illustrate,they start saving some part of their income in advance so that they do not have to face any problems in future when they have to spend money on their juveniles.Another benefit is,
guardians
Correct word choice
that guardians
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 become more psychologically mature and they can take care of their children on their own.They prefer to give all comforts to the pupil.
To conclude
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,after analyzing both aspects,I assert that individuals tend to have babies at an older
age
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.They already planned the expenses which they want to spend on their juvenile.
Moreover
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,they become more psychologically mature and can take care of their child as well.

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay to enhance the flow of ideas and arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly present the main topic and provide a summary of the key points in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Support the main points with more relevant and specific examples to strengthen the arguments.
task achievement
Provide a more comprehensive response to the task by addressing all aspects of the prompt in greater detail.
task achievement
Develop clearer and more comprehensive ideas to strengthen the overall response to the task.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support the ideas presented in the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • delayed parenting
  • maternal/paternal age
  • biological clock
  • career establishment
  • financial stability
  • physical stamina
  • emotional maturity
  • health risks
  • generation gap
  • work-life balance
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