In many countries women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first months after the birth of their baby. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #women #maternity #jobs #first #months #birth #baby

Although

maternity leave is thought by some people to be beneficial for the physical and mental

health

mothers

, others think that it can be detrimental. In my opinion, I consider that maternity leave can bring about more advantages to

women

compared to any downsides it might bring. Despite the disadvantages below, I believe the benefits gained by

mothers

having a long holiday are undoubtedly useful for their physical and emotional

health

Firstly

mothers

can stay at home and have more time to recover from

health

issues after giving birth.

This

is an important process as it is helpful for

mothers

to regain physical strength and to be fully prepared to return to their original positions.

Secondly

women

can establish a closer parent-child relationship in

this

period of time, leading to a satisfaction of emotional needs from

mothers

and babies and a solid attachment to the baby.

This

is a valuable component for early child development. Admittedly, there are some issues involved when

women

take a long leave after they give birth to children. One downside is that it might cause a shortage of human resources in job markets.

For example

, in Hong Kong,

generally

Add a comma

generally,

show examples

employers have to hire extra staff to compensate for the loss of manpower, which will cause an extra financial burden

Change preposition

for

show examples

employers.

However

this

situation only lasts for a short period of time. Another negative impact is that the employment opportunities of

women

might be affected

due to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

maternity protection.

In other words

, it might be possible for the company to avoid hiring

women

due to

the potential cost they might bring. In conclusion, the tremendous advantages that

women

can enjoy are extremely helpful for physical

health

and parental

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

while

the downsides are negligible, supporting that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

Submitted by gavinchung1201 on Sat Jul 22 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Your essay addresses the prompt effectively and presents a clear opinion.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates good logical structure, with a clear introduction and conclusion, and well-supported main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Many people think that painting and music do not directly improve the quality of people. Therefore, governments should not spend too much money on artistic projects. Do you agree or disagree?
Many citizens hold the view that it is wasteful for the government to invest money in artistic projects as it does not develop the people’s living. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with this perspective for two reasons.
5.5
band
You are going to move out of your apartment in a English-speaking country. Your landlord is a very good person, who has assisted you a lot during your stay. Meanwhile, your friend would like to rent the flat after you. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter, •Let your landlord know that you will be leaving •Thank you landlord for his/her help •Tel him/her about your friend
I hope this letter find you in high spirits. Its been a while we met each other. I feel very happy to be your tenant. Do you remember, I discussed with you that i have applied for a job in other province. I am very excited to let you know that I got the job in a real estate corporation. I will be moving there on the end of this month, as I have to start my work in the first week of next month. For this reason, I have to leave your apartment.
5
band
Some people think that young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc.to serve society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There has been an intriguing debate between those who believe younger generations should pursue university and others who argue practical education may be the best solution for a better society. Even though both sides have their concerns that affect their opinion, I believe the university path offers a greater chance for students to discover their life purpose.
7
band
With the rise in popularity of the internet, newspapers will soon become a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is widely argued that the increasing popularity of social media and the internet has resulted in a decline in the relevance and usage of newspapers. This essay strongly aligns with this notion due to the convenience, speed, and cost-effectiveness offered by digital media platforms.
5.5
band
Some people think foreign visitors should be charged more than local people when they visit the cultural and historical attractions in a country To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In some cultural and historical attractions in a country, including my country, foreign tourists are charged a higher price than local tourists. I strongly agree that the idea of charging more foreign tourists than local visitors should be implemented in every cultural and historical attraction in a country.

In many countries women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first months after the birth of their baby. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people think that painting and music do not directly improve the quality of people. Therefore, governments should not spend too much money on artistic projects. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc.to serve society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

With the rise in popularity of the internet, newspapers will soon become a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think foreign visitors should be charged more than local people when they visit the cultural and historical attractions in a country To what extent do you agree or disagree?