In many countries women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first months after the birth of their baby. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Although

Linking Words

maternity leave is thought by some people to be beneficial for the physical and mental

health

Use synonyms

mothers

Use synonyms

, others think that it can be detrimental. In my opinion, I consider that maternity leave can bring about more advantages to

women

Use synonyms

compared to any downsides it might bring. Despite the disadvantages below, I believe the benefits gained by

mothers

Use synonyms

having a long holiday are undoubtedly useful for their physical and emotional

health

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

mothers

Use synonyms

can stay at home and have more time to recover from

health

Use synonyms

issues after giving birth.

This

Linking Words

is an important process as it is helpful for

mothers

Use synonyms

to regain physical strength and to be fully prepared to return to their original positions.

Secondly

Linking Words

women

Use synonyms

can establish a closer parent-child relationship in

this

Linking Words

period of time, leading to a satisfaction of emotional needs from

mothers

Use synonyms

and babies and a solid attachment to the baby.

This

Linking Words

is a valuable component for early child development. Admittedly, there are some issues involved when

women

Use synonyms

take a long leave after they give birth to children. One downside is that it might cause a shortage of human resources in job markets.

For example

Linking Words

, in Hong Kong,

generally

Add a comma

generally,

show examples

employers have to hire extra staff to compensate for the loss of manpower, which will cause an extra financial burden

Change preposition

for

show examples

employers.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

situation only lasts for a short period of time. Another negative impact is that the employment opportunities of

women

Use synonyms

might be affected

due to

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

maternity protection.

In other words

Linking Words

, it might be possible for the company to avoid hiring

women

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

the potential cost they might bring. In conclusion, the tremendous advantages that

women

Use synonyms

can enjoy are extremely helpful for physical

health

Use synonyms

and parental

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

while

Linking Words

the downsides are negligible, supporting that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

gavinchung1201Sat Jul 22 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Your essay addresses the prompt effectively and presents a clear opinion.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates good logical structure, with a clear introduction and conclusion, and well-supported main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people prefer one on one lesson while others like group lessons. Discuss both views and give your opinion
As far as the number of people who have different choices that are single and group lessons I think a single lesson is more effective. I will explain my view in this article.
<4
band
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
It is true that recently people's life expecture increased comparing with previous decade. There are positive and negative sides of this occurrence.
5
band
When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Many people recognise the size of the salary is the most crucial consideration for them to choose a job. Personally, I disagree with the idea that money is the leading factor when deciding on a career, because I believe that other factors are equally important.
6
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There has been a trend going on about working abroad or outside of their initial places. This includes professionals such as doctors and engineers who are trained in a specific country but tend to work outside of those initial countries. My opinion leans more towards how professionals like doctors and engineers should be free to work in their desired places, including abroad.
4.5
band
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are requiered. Discuss both these views and your own opinion.
According to some individuals, little result on social health has measurements on requirement in order to take care, nevertheless others have the other opinions that the improvement of the best method is the increase by many sports activities. I will support this view and my reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs.

In many countries women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first months after the birth of their baby. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people prefer one on one lesson while others like group lessons. Discuss both views and give your opinion

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are requiered. Discuss both these views and your own opinion.