IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph shows the number of visitors to a variety of art galleries in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and repo fling the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of people who visited different art galleries in 2011. Generally , they can be put in 3 groups, as some of them have around the same
number
Use synonyms
 of visitors. In that year, the Louvre, an art gallery from France, had the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of visitors, with a
number
Use synonyms
 of about 9
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
. In the second group, the Metropolitan and the British museums , based in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 ,respectively, recorded almost 6
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
. These two museums had considerably smaller numbers compared to the
french
Fix capitalization
French
show examples
 one, with a gap of roughly 3
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 people. The smallest
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of visitors went to
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
 Museum of Korea, Museo del Prado
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in Spain, and
State
Correct article usage
the State
show examples
 Hermitage
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in Russia. Their numbers being, on average, equal to 3
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
, about
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 third
part
Check wording
apply
show examples
of
Louvre's
Correct article usage
the Louvre's
show examples
 digits. Taken as a whole, in 2011,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 Louvre was the most popular museum out of the five represented in the graph.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
russian, korean
Correct word order
Russian, Korean,
show examples
 and
spanish musseums
Correct your spelling
Spanish museums
 had the lowest amount of guests.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Add more linking words.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, millions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • visitor numbers
  • fluctuations
  • peak season
  • off-peak season
  • trend
  • visitor demographics
  • attendance
  • special exhibition
  • promotional campaign
  • footfall
  • gallery capacity
  • cultural attraction
  • art enthusiasts
  • exhibit
  • statistical comparison
  • tourist attraction
What to do next:
Look at other essays: