Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behavior. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #violence #television #entertainment #behavior

Undoubtedly, violence shown on

T.V.

Correct your spelling

has become realistic, but in ,reality the scene was created with fakery and imagination without causing any harm.

Therefore

, some would believe that portrayed imagination could create misshape and encouragement in criminal activities.

This

essay will examine both of the prospects of

this

argument, and I will share my perspective on

this

outcome.

To begin

with, there is no excuse that many films with a history of violation cause trouble in reality.

However

also

there is no evidence that could support

this

whole argument

about

Change preposition

that

show examples

fabricated TV shows could encourage harmful nature.

In addition

, these types of programs and movies are extremely made for people above the age of 18. For that reason, the public

understand

Change the verb form

understands

show examples

their limitations and responsibilities in real life and these programs

also

portray

disclaimer

Fix the agreement mistake

disclaimers

show examples

For example

, the sequence of

this

program is made by fictional and unrealistic blood, which is strictly advisory for users over 18.

Due to

this

, individuals at least should know there is no harm caused in reality, and so made my graphics and fiction.

On the other hand

portrayed

Verb problem

apply

show examples

murder scenes on T.V. shows could give examples to do crime and what consequences would be to take care of.

As a result

, minimum exposure to

this

fundamental cloud encourages the young generation.

For instance

, the angry attitude present in

movie

Add an article

the movie

show examples

also

put

Verb problem

plays

show examples

vital

Correct article usage

a vital

show examples

development in kids' personalities. Which could become complicated even if it is about fictional characters and fakery.

Furthermore

, fake blood is shown on Television and extremely violated parts should be solved by putting sensors and blur effects on it. Even though,

this

kind of entertainment somewhere going to cause aggressive behaviour changes.

To sum up

, every individual has their viewpoint about given concerns,

although

imagination and unrealistic enjoyment will be non-dangerous. In my opinion, watching vicious and crime programs will reflect minor changes in conduct.

Submitted by user349953 on Sat Jul 22 2023

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task response

Ensure that your introduction clearly states the two opposing views and your own opinion. Also, make sure to address all parts of the essay prompt in your response.

coherence cohesion

Work on structuring your essay in a more organized way, with clear topic sentences for each paragraph and a cohesive flow between ideas. Additionally, ensure a stronger conclusion that summarizes your points effectively.

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

312 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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