Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Many people argue that the primary environmental issue is the extinction of specific creatures and
plants
. In contrast
, a different group argues that more significant environmental issues
exist. In my opinion, the extinction of creatures and greenery is undoubtedly one of the major environmental complications; however
, there are more significant issues
that are damaging nature
, such
as global warming and pollution.
On the one hand, the vanishing of some animals and plants
is destroying nature
's ecosystem and the coexistence between greenery and creatures. Thus
, damaging the whole environment
as these species play a vital role in balancing our nature
. For example
, Plants
produce oxygen and food for living beings, while
animal stool enriches and nourishes the soil by providing nutrients absorbed by trees. Animals and plants
contribute equally to protecting nature
. Therefore
, their extinction will lead to an endangered environment
. Nonetheless
, I think there are more concerning environmental issues
we should be aware of.
On the other hand
, global warming and pollution are more harmful to the environment
as these affect the fundamental elements of it like air, water, and temperature. To elaborate, the consequences of global warming are climate change and excessive heat, and the basic need for air and water gets disrupted due to
contamination. For instance
, a recent study shows that icebergs of the north and south poles are melting extensively. Moreover
, the earth's average temperature has risen to 20 per cent because of global warming and pollution. Nevertheless
, after taking these consequences into account, in my view, these issues
of the environment
are paramount.
In conclusion, there could be several reasons for the disappearance of an animal or a plant category, but it is evident that it affects nature
's whole ecosystem. However
, I believe issues
like the rise of temperature as well as
the impurities of air and water, are more alarming for the environment
and human beings.Submitted by tah7sin on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Your conclusion is well-defined, but your introduction could be developed further by more clearly paraphrasing the question and stating your thesis.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use logical connectors and cohesive devices effectively to enhance the flow of your essay. While you have used some linking words, there is room for a wider range and more sophisticated lexical resource.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points with more detailed examples. Your examples are somewhat generic and do not fully demonstrate the ramifications of the environmental issues discussed.
Task Achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that you discuss both views thoroughly and provide a clear opinion. You've given your opinion, but it needs to be more prominent and supported throughout the essay.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.