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Writing Samples
Band 6

In the future all cars, buses, and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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In the upcoming years,
driverless
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vehicles
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 will be introduced. It is believed the only passengers inside the cars, buses, and trucks are passengers. It argues from both perspectives in society. The
advantages
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 are to create efficiencies and decrease traffic rule breakers.
Whereas
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, the drawback is it will harm road users
due to
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 an insufficient amount of research. I believe
driverless
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vehicles
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 will create more
advantages
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 rather than disadvantages. Efficiency become
one
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 of the essential parts of our lives.
One
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 of the ways to create efficiency will be through a
driverless
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 vehicle. Efficient in both time and cost will be created.
For instance
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, a businessman has to attend an offline meeting
while
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 he has to attend another online meeting beforehand. Using an ordinary
car
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, he needs to drive all the way to the second meeting venue and
subsequently
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, he will be late to attend the offline meeting,
otherwise
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, he has to cancel his online meeting.
On the other hand
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, choosing a taxi as the second option will cost him around IDR 200,000 for each trip.
Furthermore
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, another benefit is
driverless
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vehicles
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 will be equipped with some futuristic technologies which will regulate the
vehicles
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 to obey some traffic rules.
Hence
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,
due to
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 these benefits, it will decrease the amount of road incidents in the future. Aside from the
advantages
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, there is a drawback with the
invention
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 of
driverless
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vehicles
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.
One
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 of the disadvantages is it will harm road users if the research is done improperly. Research has a critical point in building
driverless
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vehicles
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 namely choosing the right sensors and determining safe space from
one
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car
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 to another
car
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.
One
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 of many examples that might occur if
this
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invention
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 is not equipped with a high-technology sensor is the cars will not be able to detect each other and severe impacts
such
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 as a
car
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 incident will happen.
Hence
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, even though there is a disadvantage in
this
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invention
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 it will not outweigh the benefits given. In conclusion, the
invention
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 of
driverless
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vehicles
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 with a passenger as the only person in the vehicle
,
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apply
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 will create more
advantages
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 rather than drawbacks to society. It is believed as
driverless
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vehicles
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 are publicly consumed, it will create efficiencies for some people and minimize traffic rule breakers.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Some connections between points were not fully clear which may affect the logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and conclusion to frame your arguments. Your essay had clear introductory and concluding paragraphs but could be more explicit in summarizing your main points.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed examples. While you did provide examples, they could be further elaborated upon to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Fully address the prompt while maintaining a clear position throughout the response. You have provided a response to the question, but some parts of the discussion could be more focused and developed.
task achievement
Develop ideas comprehensively by delving deeper into the implications and potential consequences of your arguments.
task achievement
Provide more relevant, detailed, and specific examples to support your view. Broad statements were made that lacked the supportive specificity required for a higher score.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • driverless vehicles
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • increased safety
  • reduced traffic congestion
  • improved efficiency
  • accessibility
  • disabled
  • elderly
  • job displacement
  • privacy concerns
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