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Writing Samples
Band 8.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.
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The bar chart presents the data that shows an example of one country in the past five decades and how families used to spend their weekly salary. It can be seen that the amount of cash they speeding on food is the highest in 1968 which have reached 35 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of their weekly earnings,
while
Linking Words
 in 2018 the amount of money fell slightly to 20 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of their weekly pay.
However
Linking Words
, families in 1968 spent 8 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of their income on leisure, but
this
Linking Words
 amount of the bill increased sharply in 2018 to become 22 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of their weekly pay. Housing and transport have increased a lot in the
last
Linking Words
 5 decades, families spent 10 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 1968 but in 2018 it raised 8 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, with transport, they spend 8 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 1968 but in 2018 they put twice their weekly income on it.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see a clear upward trend in their weekly cash went for food in 1968,
while
Linking Words
 the majority of spending funds was leisure in 2018.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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