Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job strai

#people #university #college #route #career #job #strai

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It is commonly believed that being an educational institution graduate leads to a prosperous career.

However

Linking Words

, there is

also

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a persuasive argument that teenagers should work straight when finishing school.

This

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essay attempts to shed light on both perspectives before concluding that I am in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

of the former notion. On the one hand, it is understandable why getting employed after high school could be attractive.

Firstly

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, Teenagers making

this

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decision could become more independent.

As a result

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, by earning their own income,they could be able to establish a stable life, start a family, or travel, and

this

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could

also

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help them become more mature.

Also

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, by working early, youngsters would have more chances to gain real experience.

This

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is because they could have more time to hone practical skills,

such

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as time management or problem-solving

abilit

Correct your spelling

ability

abilities

. and

This

Linking Words

may lead to promotions and a successful career.

On the other hand

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, there are a host of compelling reasons as to why I am convinced that youngsters should choose to pursue higher education. One reason is that

this

Linking Words

choice helps the young to open their social network. By engaging in club activities and projects in university, they could make new friends and connect with professors, which would

make

Verb problem

give

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them

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

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a variety of high-paid job choices. Another reason is that applicants could chase

dream

Correct pronoun usage

their dream

show examples

work

having

Change preposition

by having

show examples

academic qualifications

Change preposition

show examples

the required profession.

For instance

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, in Vietnam, being a doctor requires a bachelor's medical degree, so

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

university graduates with

this

Linking Words

major are more likely to successfully apply

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

Linking Words

position

Replace the punctuation

...

show examples

In conclusion,

due to

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the reasons stated above, I believe that students are more likely to enjoy a successful career in the long run if they possess a college or university degree. In conclusion,

while

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it is irrefutable that working early could have some benefits, I would contend that enrolling in higher education is better.

Submitted by thaongoccc25 on Wed Apr 03 2024

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example addition

It's a great essay! For further improvement, consider adding more specific examples to support your arguments, which will add depth to your essay and better engage the reader.

grammar improvement

Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and typos to enhance the professionalism of your essay.

argument consistency

Try to maintain consistency in your argument's presentation to ensure the reader isn't confused.

balanced argument

Your essay presents a well-rounded view with arguments for both perspectives before stating a clear opinion. This helps to make your essay engaging and thoughtful.

structure

Your essay's structure is coherent, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This makes your essay easy to follow.

language variety

You've used a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary, which enhances the readability and sophistication of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

313 words

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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job strai

Include an introduction and conclusion

You have a full time job and also doing part time evening course, You now find that you can not continue the course. Write a letter to your tutor. -Describe the situation. -Explain why you can not continue at this time. -Say what action you would like to take.

Some people believe that education is important to get jobs while others believe it its experience and skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays many students choose to study abroad at university level. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad, and give your own opinion about whether it is a good idea.

In some countries, the numbers of children aged 15 and younger are increasing constantly. What are the current and future effects of an ever-increasing population?

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?