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Writing Samples
Band 6

Young people should choose a job what they want. But others think that they should be realistic and think about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #job #future
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The debate over whether young
people
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 should choose a
job
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 they love or prioritize practicality is a common one. Both perspectives have valid points, and in
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views before presenting my own opinion. Many argue that young
people
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 should follow their passions when choosing a
job
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.Pursuing a career that excites them leads to higher
job
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 satisfaction.
For instance
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, someone passionate about art or music is more likely to persist in their career, even when faced with challenges, because the work feels personally fulfilling.
Therefore
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, choosing a
job
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 based on
passion
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 can foster long-term happiness and success.
On the other hand
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, some believe young
people
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 should be more pragmatic and think about their future. A
job
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 that offers stability is essential for long-term security.
For example
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, professions in fields like medicine, engineering, or law often guarantee financial stability and
job
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 prospects, which can be crucial for those planning for the future. Being realistic about career choices ensures financial independence and reduces the risk of uncertainty. In my opinion, young
people
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 should strike a balance between
passion
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 and practicality.
While
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 pursuing a dream
job
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 is important, it should
also
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 provide financial security and long-term growth.A young person passionate about design could combine their
passion
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 with practical skills in graphic design or architecture, ensuring both
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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 and stability. In conclusion, a balanced approach, where
passion
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 meets practicality, is the best path for young
people
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 when choosing their careers
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
While the essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, try to further develop the body paragraphs with additional examples and details to enhance the comprehensiveness of the response.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and understandable, but explore each point with more depth and specific examples to strengthen your argument and demonstrate critical thinking.
coherence cohesion
Work on smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs to maintain a logical flow. Although the essay is well-organized, connecting phrases can improve its cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
The main points are relevant and well-aligned with the topic, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow and understand the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career trajectory
  • job satisfaction
  • employment prospects
  • financial stability
  • job security
  • economically viable
  • harnessing potential
  • labor market
  • vocational guidance
  • real-world demands
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