IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Young people should choose a job what they want. But others think that they should be realistic and think about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #job #future
The debate over whether young
people
 should choose a
job
 they love or prioritize practicality is a common one. Both perspectives have valid points, and in
this
 essay, I will discuss both views before presenting my own opinion. Many argue that young
people
 should follow their passions when choosing a
job
.Pursuing a career that excites them leads to higher
job
 satisfaction.
For instance
, someone passionate about art or music is more likely to persist in their career, even when faced with challenges, because the work feels personally fulfilling.
Therefore
, choosing a
job
 based on
passion
 can foster long-term happiness and success.
On the other hand
, some believe young
people
 should be more pragmatic and think about their future. A
job
 that offers stability is essential for long-term security.
For example
, professions in fields like medicine, engineering, or law often guarantee financial stability and
job
 prospects, which can be crucial for those planning for the future. Being realistic about career choices ensures financial independence and reduces the risk of uncertainty. In my opinion, young
people
 should strike a balance between
passion
 and practicality.
While
 pursuing a dream
job
 is important, it should
also
 provide financial security and long-term growth.A young person passionate about design could combine their
passion
 with practical skills in graphic design or architecture, ensuring both
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
 and stability. In conclusion, a balanced approach, where
passion
 meets practicality, is the best path for young
people
 when choosing their careers
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, you could include more specific examples and details to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, consider using more connective words or phrases to link ideas within paragraphs more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well articulated, clearly presenting both sides of the argument and your opinion.
Task Achievement
You have effectively addressed the task by discussing both views and providing your own opinion, which adds depth to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • career trajectory
  • job satisfaction
  • employment prospects
  • financial stability
  • job security
  • economically viable
  • harnessing potential
  • labor market
  • vocational guidance
  • real-world demands
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!