Nowadays, people of all ages from certain parts of the world spend most of time at home rather than going outdoors. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Home
is always be
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is always
show examples
a place we can relax a little bit from the harsh task deadlines to
another stressful events
Replace the adjective
another stressful event
other stressful events
show examples
.
However
, spending
all-day-long
Correct your spelling
all day long
show examples
at
home
can bring negativity to
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
health
not to mention
for young age, productive ages, and
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
. Through
this
essay, I would elaborate
why
Change preposition
on why
show examples
I personally disagree with
this
point. First and foremost, spending the day at
home
can lead to a bad healthy lifestyle
due to
the unlimited access to food, sugary drinks, gaming and
entertainments
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entertainment
show examples
which risk
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sedentary
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Although
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
running all activities at
home
such
as homeschooling or remote working can lead to time-efficiency in working (
due to
rush hour), building intimacy in
family
Correct article usage
the family
show examples
, creating a safe zone for children and protecting
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
from criminal acts outside,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
this
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
will adversely impact in
health
alteration and
labeled
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labelled
show examples
as anti-social.
Conversely
, running activities outdoors can maintain
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good healthy
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
and
building
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
social
Add an article
a social
show examples
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
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with
community
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the community
show examples
. Before work-hour,
for instance
, older adults
in
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of
show examples
productive ages can take a
brisk-walk
Correct your spelling
brisk walk
show examples
for 15 minutes with their families and greets their neighbour when they pass by.
Therefore
, they can increase productivity, rising
health
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
and recharge energy at one time which will not solely affect
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health
aspects but
also
social adaptation. In conclusion, spending most of
time
Add an article
the time
show examples
to stay-at-
home
is not an excellent choice
due to
the
flexibilIty
Correct your spelling
flexibility
show examples
,
freedom
Correct word choice
and freedom
show examples
,
lead
Correct pronoun usage
that lead
show examples
people to
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
show examples
lifestyle and develop more
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
traits.
Therefore
, it provided unworthy benefits to
health
and how we interact as social creatures compared to going outside
home
Change preposition
of home
show examples
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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