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Band 7

Scientific developments in farming always bring major benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#developments
Nowadays, the agriculture industry is very different from how it was managed centuries ago. Countless technological innovations lead to enormous benefits from the farmlands to grocery shops.
However
, sometimes new developments come with a few unpleasant consequences, which in the end, could be ignored. In my perspective, from an
overall
 point of view, new developments result in better outcomes in farming.
To begin
 with, in the past people used to work in farmlands in person and with the help of their animals to do the bulk of their job by themselves.
However
, thanks to new technological achievements everything has changed and now machines are responsible for the majority of
hard-works
Correct your spelling
hard work
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.
For example
, tractors and combines do the same process in the shortest period of time compared to what was done by cows and men before.
Secondly
, in previous times crops were too
much
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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vulnerable to a variety of problems ranging from grasshopper attacks to dangerous microorganisms.
On the other hand
, new scientific discoveries like pesticides protect the products from the majority of possible dangers and lead to more production and availability of crops worldwide.
On the contrary
, there are a few drawbacks to the statement too. The more automation becomes dominant and available the less would be job vacancies for mankind.
As a result
, despite making more reliable productions, many would lose their source of income which could be a problem from a point of view. In conclusion, scientific discoveries lead to many positive outcomes in the agriculture industry. Nowadays, thanks to these innovations there are more reliable crops available and there is less hunger worldwide.
Submitted by m.lotfipour92 on

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task response
The essay takes a clear position on the statement and provides relevant examples to support the argument. Good use of transition words to connect ideas and maintain coherence.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear indication of the position taken. The essay flows logically and contains relevant supporting points with appropriate transitions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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