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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries today, the eating habit and lifestyle of children are different from those of previous generations. Some are of the opinion that this had negative effects on their health. What is your opinion? Do you agree or disagree with this idea.

Nowadays many people believe that the differences in habits and ways of living
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between
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 the young from the old may bring about many repercussions towards their health. From my perspective, I completely agree with the view stated above.
This
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 essay will give reasons as follows. First and foremost, the habits and lifestyles of the kids often regard Western culture and follow mostly prevalent trends.
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 means that kids are not accurate at distinguishing between healthy, nutritious foodstuff and junky, fattening foodstuff.
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, it is their addiction to that snack that matters. If the cuisine tastes delicious, teenagers will limit other options for healthy products; they might consume snacks more often to compensate for a bad mood to allow them to feel energetic again.
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, parents should have guidance for their child's appetite and suggest healthy choices to reduce the negative effects of junk food.
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, children don’t have real-life experience beforehand.
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, parents are the ones who venture outside and witness all kinds of detrimental effects from food.
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 is why they always adopt healthy meals that do not align with their children's preferences. As children, we are not fully grown up, and our range of knowledge is still limited to fundamental subjects in school. Unlike our parents, we don’t have an overview of the lifestyle and ways of living outside of society. What we unravel is only the tip of the iceberg. In conclusion, it is obvious that the condition of living and dietary habits of the young are mainly purposeless and can raise many repercussions because of our immaturity and lack of understanding.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly outline your main points in your introduction. This will help guide your reader through your essay.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your ideas. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
You have chosen a relevant and important topic that many people can relate to.
coherence and cohesion
Your language is clear and easy to understand, which makes your ideas accessible.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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